Decisions to make

[ilikepeanutbutter]

Hi
I have a 5 Yr old and 13 month old. Just found out I'm pregnant after condom fail. In total shock. I had problems conceiving my kids and this is only the second time we had sex this year... I am devastated to be pregnant. I feel burnt out on sleep deprivation, have just gone back to work and life feels like we just manage (juggling child care and full on work.) my sister in law just had a still birth and won't spend time with us because of the 14 month old.. I just don't want to be pregnant.... But it feels like most of my reasons to consider termination are material and could change.... I cant stop thinking about it... We could get by if we went ahead with lifestyle changes... My employer would hate it but what can they do.... I'm worried I might regret a termination when things are more settled but I just don't want to be pregnant. I have an appointment tomorrow at the sexual health clinic to discuss.... What questions should I ask myself?

[Crunched]

You are asking yourself the right questions, it is just those type of questions are impossible to answer. Who knows how you will feel next year or even in 5 years time.
What does your DP feel about the situation? Are the issues that come with a third DC likely to strain your relationship?
You have a sizeable gap between your children. Does that work well for you? Are you young enough to try to conceive in a couple of years if you decide on a termination this time?
I am sorry you are wrestling with this decision and I wish you well whichever direction you choose.

[ilikepeanutbutter]

Thanks crunched. There will be strain on the relationship in pregnancy. I get very irritable /short tempered generally unhappy in pregnancy and it causes frictions. I enjoy the current kids hugely. Love the age gap and love being able to devote time to baby when big one at school. Purposely avoided a double buggy situation. My partner is older and feels its now or never but supports either decision. The way I feel right now I cant imagine wanting a third but it's possible....

[Crunched]

How are things today peanut?
I hope things may be getting a bit clearer for you.

[ilikepeanutbutter]

They have made me a counselling appointment for next week. I will be scanned. Nothing can be done till I am six weeks. I don't want to be pregnant but feel uneasy about the abortion. I'm swaying to termination... The lady was very nice to me. Thanks for thinking of me

[Crunched]

[Ilovesuperman]

Hi did you come to a decision? Thinking of you

[ilikepeanutbutter]

Thanks guys. No decisions made. Waiting for a scan on Thursday and counselling. It was the earliest appointment, 11 days after I first went. Still got no symptoms of pregnancy so thats good. I must be under 7 weeks I think I would feel rough otherwise. Today Ive been thinking about my age... I'm 35... If we did want a 3rd this is the time really.. But I still don't want to be pregnant! Anyway... I'm quite relaxed, not as upset as I would expect myself to be... Never thought I would consider termination at this age. It seems to suggest I could take the tablets at home if I am under 8 weeks. I've had a miscarriage before and would prefer to be at home.

[Ilovesuperman]

I was 6 weeks when I have had an abortion if you want me to tell you about it I will but don't want to influence a decision. Good luck making it x