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Need some support

(3 Posts)
msmarzipan Wed 31-Oct-18 08:35:58

I hope this is in the right place, apologies if it's not as I usually just read rather than post
I feel out of my depth and really need some hand holding. My daughter is going in for a surgical termination tomorrow due to anencephaly, I'm absolutely heartbroken for her and her partner and just don't know how to support her. We have only known since yesterday morning and in the space of 24 hours everything's turned on it's head - the excitement of the dating scan and telling siblings the sex etc after school has all been replaced with this overwhelming sadness and shock 😕

faeriequeen Mon 05-Nov-18 23:21:02

Lots of love to you and your family. xx

Brenna24 Mon 05-Nov-18 23:32:37

I am so sorry. I have no experience of having to have a TFMR, but I have had 3 miscarriages, one at over 11 weeks. I think that the best thing you can do is be there and take your lead from her. Practical support over the next few weeks in terms of preprepared, easy to eat, light food that she can pick at when she feels up to eating is great if she is off her food. Plenty of hugs when she is down and upset and an ear if she wants to talk about it, space if she needs that or time with you doing something light to take her mind off it if that is what she needs. Most importantly is to acknowledge the baby if she wants to (some people can't talk about it, others want to grieve their baby and acknowledge him or her as much as they would any child who had passed).

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