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Help 2 abortions

(30 Posts)
Firesidetreats1 Mon 29-Oct-18 07:20:09

I had an abortion in 2015 and now I’ve fallen pregnant again, I don’t have any children but want them in the future. I’m just filled with dread and I’m really scared, I always imagine that when you find out you’d be happy but I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like that. I suffer from anxiety and I’m petrified. I just need someone to speak to.

Princess9891 Mon 29-Oct-18 07:21:15

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

topystervy Mon 29-Oct-18 07:25:27

How old are you?

Unicyclethief Mon 29-Oct-18 07:27:25

There is no shame in having abortions. However many you need, and for whatever reason. You can still have children in the future.

Unicyclethief Mon 29-Oct-18 07:27:58

Oh and fuck you Princess9891.

harrypotterfan1604 Mon 29-Oct-18 07:30:19

How old are you? Age is an important factor.
I’m 31 weeks pregnant and on getting that positive test my initial reaction was total fear not joy. Having an abortion was never an option for me I couldn’t do it and I am in a position to give a child a good life It’s just not ideal timing for other reasons but that’s not important now.
I’m so excited and can’t wait to be a mum, the love I feel for their unborn baby is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
It was a shock in the beginning and took a while for me to come round and actually realise i could do this.
I have to say though if your not wanting kids right now you need to use better protection

Authenticcelestialmusic Mon 29-Oct-18 07:31:44

What is your current situation? Are you with a partner? Together a long time? Do you want this pregnancy to continue or are you adamant you don’t want a baby now?

Not everyone feels over the moon initially. Who can you discuss this with? If there is no one why not call Bpas and have a chat?

I’m sorry you are in this position and whatever you decide will be the right decision for you. Look after yourself.

user1457017537 Mon 29-Oct-18 07:33:45

Unicyclethief not always. I have a friend who had terminations at age 16 and 20. She never conceived again despite desperately wanting a child later. She had an early menopause at 36.

Unicyclethief Mon 29-Oct-18 07:43:15

Oh ffs, how do you know the terminations stopped her conceiving again? How is that even relevant?

Princess9891 Mon 29-Oct-18 07:43:37

unicyclethief Excuse me?!!!

Unicyclethief Mon 29-Oct-18 07:44:13

She had an early menopause. So fuck all to do with terminations? Fucking heel, why would you even comment on this thread? It is not relevant.

Unicyclethief Mon 29-Oct-18 07:45:48

Why comment on someone’s contraception choices princess? You don’t know, and it just makes you sound judgey and was actually no help at all.

Princess9891 Mon 29-Oct-18 07:46:14

unicyclethief we will all comment as we see fit (As you are doing) and if you don't like it then you can fuck off.

Unicyclethief Mon 29-Oct-18 07:49:17

You have offered absolutely nothing on this thread, You just want to judge. Why would you do this where someone is actually hurting?

keyboardjellyfish Mon 29-Oct-18 07:53:58

I somehow don't think having an argument on OPs thread is going to help anything.

OP, you are well within your right to have another abortion if that's what you need to do- they are there for people to have. It is still valid to want children in the future, but not now. Whatever decision you make is okay.

GemmeFatale Mon 29-Oct-18 08:06:41

Your choice OP. You can have an abortion, you can have a child, you can have the baby and help make someone else a parent through adoption. Maybe go and chat it through at the doctors?

And once whatever you decide is done please do go and sort effective contraception. All these unwanted pregnancies aren’t good for your mental health and put a strain on the nhs one way or another.

Ollivander84 Mon 29-Oct-18 08:27:51

Less strain on the NHS than having 2 children does...
all these unwanted? It's two! And it could well be two contraception failures of different types

Eminybob Mon 29-Oct-18 08:37:52

I have had 2 abortions - one at age 22 and one at age 27.
I now have a ds and another one on the way. I did take a while conceiving them, but that’ll be due to my age, nothing to do with the abortions.
No regrets.

TheVanguardSix Mon 29-Oct-18 08:38:51

Your body, your choice. There is NO shame in that. Whether we abort/'terminate for medical reasons'/miscarry, basically lose a pregnancy by choice or not, it is a trauma. It really is.

When you are ready to start a family and you are pregnant by choice, OP, you may feel some anxiety, guilt, etc. And there is help for that. I know that my miscarriages, my late loss, and my termination all combined into a tumbleweed of anxiety during successful pregnancies. MIdwives are a fountain of support. So when you do eventually start a family, talk to your midwife! She can guide you towards such helpful support during pregnancy. She can be a real rock.

For now, may I point you in this direction? This is a the site for Choices which, among other things, offers post-abortion support and counselling.

GemmeFatale Mon 29-Oct-18 10:00:31

@ollivander84 yes pregnancy is a strain on the nhs; either because you then have 9 months of care plus a birth or because you need counselling and an abortion. Effective contraception is a lesser strain for the system and the individual.

Firesidetreats1 Mon 29-Oct-18 13:06:01

Eminybob how old are you now? I was 24 when I had my first and I’d just finished uni. I’m 27 now, me and my partner have been together 10 years and we’ve been using contraception. I’m just so scared there’s a lot of things which go through my mind and I’m just not sure I’m ready for it.

funinthesun18 Mon 29-Oct-18 13:11:33

The most fucking annoying thing anyone can say to a woman who has had an abortion or who is planning on having one is “Why didn’t you use protection?”

Tahani Mon 29-Oct-18 13:15:56

Firesidetreats, if you don't want to have a child, then go for an abortion

Anyone who judges you can fuck off. It's your body, your choice x

Eminybob Mon 29-Oct-18 13:34:35

Fireside I’m 38 now. I wasn’t ready for children until well into my 30’s, in fact I didn’t think I ever would want children, but that did change as I got older.

FrazzyAndFrumpled Mon 29-Oct-18 14:20:05

The most fucking annoying thing anyone can say to a woman who has had an abortion or who is planning on having one is “Why didn’t you use protection?”

I’d say it’s downright rude and disrespectful.

OP, have you spoken to your partner about the pregnancy? Whatever you decide to do, it’s the eighth decision for you and your partner at this time and there’s no shame in it. Take care of yourself flowers

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