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Guilted into booking an induction - advice needed

(31 Posts)
Iwannabail Tue 23-Oct-18 05:13:21

At my 32 week scan yesterday, I was told by the consultant I had to give birth on the maternity ward because I am over 40 and I needed to book in an induction. She said it’s for the health of the baby, keep the baby out of danger etc. The thing is a) I am not that bloody old and b) my first birth had no complications, so to instantly put me in the care of a consultant feels wrong to me. When I challenged her and said I was getting contradictory information from my midwives who said I could give birth in the birthing centre she finally conceded... well we can’t force you, but by that time mum guilt had well and truly set in. The trouble is I have no idea who to believe and what to believe only that I am now freaking out I have to give birth in a ward in a way I don’t want to and be induced if baby does not come on time - not to mention the horror stories I hear about that. I just feel so sad and guilty my second birth is going to be so different to my first... stupid I know... what advice would you give, am I really endangering the life of my baby if I insist on being in the birthing centre?

GreenMeerkat Tue 23-Oct-18 05:25:33

Is there literally no other reason she is claiming you should have an induction other than your age?

If not, that seems ridiculous to me. You're right, you're not that old and as you've had a straightforward birth before and (I assume?) an uncomplicated pregnancy before I don't see any reason why you can't give birth in the MLU. I wouldn't feel guilty about that at all.

TeddyIsaHe Tue 23-Oct-18 05:39:10

How far away is the MLU from the hospital? That would factor into my decision.

I think induction is recommended because women over 35 have a slightly higher risk of still-birth over 40 weeks. You absolutely don’t have to have an induction and can opt for closer monitoring. But do lots of research so you’re basing your decision on facts rather than emotions, it makes it easier to fight you corner that way.

Shriekingbanshee Tue 23-Oct-18 05:39:18

Oh bloody pah! I so hate that fear-mongering its awful for pregnant women. Why why, no reason by your age if nothing else untoward having induction increases risks so unless there is risk already there that would be reduced by intervention then it doesn't make sense to me.

If you had baby at home the highest qualified me would have to attend you, my MW always very confident that problems with delivery can always be spotted early enough to get mother transferred safely if needed. She was a bit woo tho

Iwannabail Tue 23-Oct-18 05:57:59

Yep she based her decision purely on my age, no other reason and the MLU is in the same bloody building infact it is one floor up!

TeddyIsaHe Tue 23-Oct-18 06:39:16

But she’s not doing it to be annoying! Research has shown that based on age babies have a higher chance at being stillborn after 40 weeks. That’s why she is suggesting one. You can request no induction, they can’t force you to have one.

Here’s some reading to look over so you’re fully informed.

SandysMam Tue 23-Oct-18 06:41:51

My induction was by far my best birth. Controlled and pain free due to the epidural. It was wonderful. I have had two friends aged 38 and 40 have still births due to being over due. Not scaremongering, just my experience. Good luck with your baby OP, hope it all goes well.

SunnyintheSun Tue 23-Oct-18 06:47:58

I had a look at that study (over 40 and planning a second home birth here). One factor it doesn’t look at is whether the increased rate (which is still low) is affected by whether it’s the mother’s first pregnancy or not. Like you, OP, my first pregnancy was straightforward so would be good to know if the increase in risk is the same in new older mothers v second time, low risk older mothers.

SinisterClownWatchingYou Tue 23-Oct-18 06:53:35

This is insane. It's because over 40 there's an increased chance of your baby dying.
If you want to take that risk for your birth 'experience' then it's up to you and your conscience. The obstetric consultant is doing her job.

Iwannabail Tue 23-Oct-18 06:56:15

I don’t think I used the word forcing me, but let’s face it, if a consultant tells you, you will be putting your baby at risk you are hardly going to sit there and go ok then let’s put the baby at risk. What I am most frustrated about is that the midwives gave me no indication the hospital was going to be this strict about putting me on the ward instead of MLU and gave me the impression I had a choice of where I wanted I give birth providing no complications... and yes while I know I can push back.. the seeds of doubt have been planted. Also it’s total BS when two of my friends in London have no issues with their plans to give home births despite being the same age. It’s the contradictory information and approaches that frustrate me.

Iwannabail Tue 23-Oct-18 06:58:32

Oh and when I jokingly mentioned so no home birth then.. the woman almost shat her pants ha ha!

TeddyIsaHe Tue 23-Oct-18 06:58:54

But what’s more important? Birth is realistically 2/3 days at most of your child’s entire life. Isn’t it better to just suck it up, get baby out as safely as possible? Because are you really going to give a shit how you gave birth once they put that squishy newborn on your chest?

SandysMam Tue 23-Oct-18 07:39:26

Also, over 40 IS old to be having a baby. Not socially, IVF yada yada but biologically it simply is. Your midwife may have dealt with one too many bad outcomes to be able to face it again.

Iwannabail Tue 23-Oct-18 08:09:23

I have yet to meet anyone that actually had a good experience giving birth on a maternity ward or being induced. My friend who gave birth in the same hospital ended up 3 days on a ward with screaming women and no sleep! How is that a better/ safer way.. no sleep and super stressed... while I accept that I may have to be induced at 40 weeks, And quite frankly who wants to prolong their pregnancy ha ha, but I would feel safer, calmer and more happier if I have the chance to stay with the MLU, which I have said is one floor down from the ward. I am going to do the research myself as someone suggested and make a decision in November at my next appt when feeling less emotional about this. Thanks all who posted.

E20mom Tue 23-Oct-18 09:15:57

I'm with @SinisterClownWatchingYou on this. It's to prevent still birth.

I had a great induction experience recently by the way. Pessary in, no other interventions, had 2 paracetamol and I was at 10cm and pushing my daughter out after 2 hours.

People generally share the horror stories as they are more interesting.

Babdoc Tue 23-Oct-18 09:25:28

Whose opinions are you going to trust, OP? An experienced consultant obstetrician with over seven years specialist training after qualifying as a doctor - or some random friends who were lucky enough to get away with normal deliveries?
Your consultant isn’t trying to thwart your wishes - she’s being honest about the risks for older mothers, and advocating for your baby’s safety. Which I would have thought ought to be your priority too?

JellySlice Tue 23-Oct-18 09:31:16

The midwives may have given you perfectly accurate info, but that particular consultant's preference is contrary to the midwives' preference. Which is exactly what happened to me.

DC3 was due and I was 40y. Previous babies had been SVD, at 40w and 41w, in hospital, both larger than average. DC3 predicted to be large. This time I wanted a home water birth. Full support from every member of the midwifery team. Consultant would not sign me off for HB. Told me at 37w - and I kid you not, it's bloody engraved on my brain - "Your baby is very big. You will have shoulder dystocia if you give birth at home. Do you want to put your baby at risk?"

I complained to the senior midwife, who spoke to the consultant, who then signed me off for HB.

Then the consultant began pressuring me to book in for induction at 40w. More scare-stories. Midwives' attitudes were different: yes, there's increased risk after 40w, but you don't need to decide until 40w.

I was scanned at 40w, a fairly in-depth scan, checking various blood-flows, to help me make my decision. I decided to ask for a sweep at 41w+1d, but did not say so (afraid of more pressure to advance it).

DC3 born SVD in the pool at 41w. Astonished everyone by weighing 5kg. Did not astonish me by being the fastest and easiest of my births.

Later, talking with other mums, it seems that those who had had pre-planned CS for medical reasons loved her. She specialised in complex pregnancies, so perhaps saw more danger than midwives, who see ordinary pregnancies and births day-in day-out.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Tue 23-Oct-18 09:31:56

The doctor is being super risk averse, which is her job. Probably nearly everyone with your particular circumstsnces would be absolutely fine, but she will have seen the few cases where it didn't go well - her job is to focus on potential problems and prevent them.
In your position I would go with MLU given that it is in the same building, if baby was on time and be prepared to transfer at earliest sign of any difficulty.
If baby went overdue, I would induce in a heartbeat - I wouldn't risk a failing placenta. Can you be induced in a MLU, because that would give you the best of both worlds.

SpoonBlender Tue 23-Oct-18 09:32:02

Very few people have a good experience giving birth at all! Of course you don't get anyone reviewing the induction process well...

Feel free to ask for a second opinion on the matter from medical professionals, though. And try not to think of professional medical advice as "being guilted", that's not helpful for anyone.

Shriekingbanshee Tue 23-Oct-18 11:50:55

No talk of births being over-medicalised? Unnecessary procedures and high rates of cs. It isn't a job to focus on the risks only but to be review individual situations.
Interventions lead to interventions, not all the time, and experience of birth is better than experience of medicalised. Better outcomes. Obvs bias in each group too.
If you want mlu which is just one floor away, does seem a bit off. Horrible scarey stat, but like all stats they don't apply to the rest.

mostdays Tue 23-Oct-18 11:53:01

And try not to think of professional medical advice as "being guilted", that's not helpful for anyone
Try not to patronise people, that's not helpful either.

Pastaagain78 Tue 23-Oct-18 11:55:02

You can’t be induced in MLU. Compromise, if you need to be induced because you are overdue go the the ward. If you go into labour naturally go to the MLU.

TheCag Tue 23-Oct-18 11:59:08

I’m quite surprised at this op, because I’m late 30’s and no mention has been made to me about avoiding going overdue. Both my previous pregnancies went at least to 41 weeks. I asked early on if I could have a sweep at 40 weeks and midwife said no, not until 41 weeks. I’m also planning another homebirth and all the professionals are in favour. I think I need a chat with my midwife about this!

E20mom Tue 23-Oct-18 13:30:08

@TheCag it applies to over 40s only.

TheCag Tue 23-Oct-18 14:42:46

Ah, I got the impression upthread that it was over 35’s.

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