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Two terminations in two years - options?

(7 Posts)
ExpatWino Sun 21-Oct-18 17:15:19

I just got a surprise positive test and think I may be around 4-5 weeks pregnant. I'm 37 and my cycle has started to go weird (potential perimenopause) but I think it was a condom accident with DH in mid-Sep.

We were definitely not TTC. Last year I had a miscarriage that became a surgical termination at 8 weeks, and after that we had some long hard talks and decided that kids were not for us. I don't feel regret about what happened, and believe that we made the right call for our future.

Having said that, I'm worried about going through all that again. It's rough emotionally and it took my body about 6 months to get back on track.

Not really asking for advice as I'm sure I'll go ahead with the second termination, but I just don't want to feel the after effects and grossness. Is it wrong to be so blase about this? I feel like I should be more concerned but somehow it doesn't feel real yet.

cittigirl Sun 21-Oct-18 17:19:31

If you had a miscarriage then it wasn't a termination in the usual sense, was it?

GenericHamster Sun 21-Oct-18 17:22:01

It's the same operation I believe cittigirl. (having also having surgical removal after miscarriage).

Sashkin Sun 21-Oct-18 17:25:32

Yes an ERPC is not a termination! Completely different emotional kettle of fish as well.

And if you are only 4 weeks pregnant you could probably have a medical termination anyway.

Sashkin Sun 21-Oct-18 17:30:01

Generic it depends a lot on what is going on with the miscarriage. Can be the same procedure, can be much lighter (I once just had a bit of stuck tissue that apparently washed out once they put the camera in, no scraping or suction required), can be much worse. But it was the emotional aspect that put me through the wringer, not the physical side.

ExpatWino Sun 21-Oct-18 17:55:55

Sorry for being vague - I live in China (hence the name) and use the terms the hospital used with me through a translator.
It was an unplanned pregnancy that miscarried at just shy of 8 weeks very soon after I realised I was pregnant so didn't really have time to get attached to it physically or mentally. The hospital dealt with it surgically - light general anaesthetic and then suction and scraping. Not really sure if the hospital pulled a health insurance scam or if that's the common way to deal with things here.
Anyway, for me the after-effects were more physical than emotional. Thrush all the damn time that I couldn't shake, weird bleeding, periods all over the place, it all just took time to settle... Basically I'm just venting and whining about the frustration of being back in a position I never wanted to be in again.

cittigirl Sun 21-Oct-18 18:01:06

I'm sorry you're in this position OP..and yes it's the same procedure but under different circumstances imho.

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