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Termination question

(11 Posts)

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Angelfish411 Mon 10-Sep-18 10:23:52

Hi,

I am around 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and I have decided to have a termination. I haven’t taken this decision lightly but I have a lot of reasons that lead to termination being the best option at this moment.

I’m just wondering about my options. I really would prefer a surgical termination because a few years ago I had a miscarriage and they gave me the oral tablet and was due to go in the next day for the vaginal one but I didn’t make it that far and let’s iust say it was extremely traumatic. My question is, would I be allowed to have a surgical even though it’s so early in the pregnancy? I honestly can’t face what I had to go through before. I won’t go into details but it was horrific and I just can’t face that again.
Can anyone advise?

Shelley54 Tue 11-Sep-18 19:36:36

Meant kindly, you might get a better response on the pregnancy choices board where people have mostly had or considered having an abortion. This board is about antenatal testing so few have had or considered abortions and those that have are usually further on than 5 weeks.

Just trying to get your post seen by people who can help advise.

Sugarhunnyicedtea Tue 11-Sep-18 19:40:26

I had a surgical abortion at 6 weeks 2 days

LilyMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 11-Sep-18 19:42:03

Hi there OP

We're just moving your thread over to our pregnancy choices topic where we hope you'll get the support and advice you're looking for. flowers

Angelfish411 Tue 11-Sep-18 20:49:46

Thanks for the reply. I have been on the phone to GP today and I have an appointment to discuss termination however he told me I’m most likely going to be offered the medical option since I’ll only be about 6+ weeks at time of termination.
They’re not listening to me I can’t possibly face that after my miscarriage I had before. The other GP asked me how far along I was when that happened and I told her 8 weeks and she said that the baby would hardly be developed, which made me feel like she was playing down the trauma I experienced. I’m really not happy I don’t know what to do. I already feel guilty enough about having this termination and I feel like I’m not going to be given options sad

Sugarhunnyicedtea Tue 11-Sep-18 21:06:48

Just say no and stand your ground. Pm me if you like. It's not a nice decision to make, don't be pressurised into something that makes you even more traumatised

BukowskisSandwich Wed 12-Sep-18 11:39:45

I’m in exactly your situation - 5.5 wks now and I feel I can’t go through what I went through before. I was 9 weeks then, so I know how horrific it was for you too, despite being considered an early pregnancy.

My NHS service is overworked, so I’ve been given the option of either waiting another 4 weeks to book in with them (5 weeks until the actual procedure) or go to the Marie Stopes clinic an hour away within the next 5-10 days, paid for by the NHS.

MS said surgical is not usually offered under 9 weeks unless specifically asked for or medical reasons. Apart from the emotional and horrific physical pain/sickness I experienced last time, they just give you the pills and send you home here, meaning I would be in the car on the way home when things took hold and would have to check myself to make sure everything had passed. I was with nurses last time, constantly vomiting, completely jaundiced, and needed a shot of pethidine too.

I’m therefore making the decision to have surgical with light sedation and local anaesthetic.

Have you had your appointment to discuss your options yet? I agree with pp to stand your ground and state your circumstances or perhaps ask for a referral to another provider like Marie Stopes or BPAS?

Angelfish411 Wed 12-Sep-18 12:02:29

That sounds horrible I’m sorry to hear you went through something similar.
I’ve read a lot online that loads of women have had surgical terminations so I don’t know why the nhs are so determined to give you medical especially when you’ve experienced previous trauma.
Also I know they say they prefer not to do surgical on women who are only 5 or 6 weeks pregnant but if like you say you need to wait for a month until the actual operation then you’ll be around 8 or 9 weeks anyway so I don’t see why they’re so against it.
I know it’s kind of my fault I’m in this situation but If you’re pregnant and don’t want to be, it’s so horrible knowing the baby is in there growing. It just makes the guilt harder. I’ve got an appointment on 20th at the hospital to discuss options. I had no idea I’d be waiting so long. I know the nhs is short staffed but surely they would want to get things over with sooner sad

BukowskisSandwich Wed 12-Sep-18 13:39:10

I suppose it’s just easier all round to promote the medical. Surgical has different risks, especially with a GA.

My NHS couldn’t see me for the initial consultation until the 27th. It looks like I won’t be able to have it done until then or even the first week of October anyway as MS only do it on one day a week. Medical was available at the end of next week so I really had a tough decision to make.

I’m really struggling with both the sickness and the feeling it’s growing. When I had my DC the positive thoughts and excitement got me through 25 weeks of hellish hyperemesis and awful aches and pains but this time it just feels like my punishment.

Still, I booked the surgical and I’m wishing away the next 2 weeks. I hope it goes quickly for you too.

Angelfish411 Wed 12-Sep-18 14:55:41

Yeah I suppose it’s also easier for them to give the pills rather than have to have doctors operate on you.
I’m also worried because I haven’t told anyone at all that I’m pregnant, never mind that I’m having a termination. I’m going to have to tell someone if I have the op because I’ll need someone to pick me up. That’s making it all worse for me.

I hope the next two weeks passes fast for you. Don’t see the pains as punishment or anything, we all have reasons for going ahead with terminations and I’m sure the reasons are good ones.
I do understand though because I also feel a lot of guilt but that’s only natural I suppose. Hope everything goes okay with you x

HerRoyalFattyness Wed 12-Sep-18 21:12:07

Hi, no advice. Just wanted to say ive made the same decision myself recently. I'm just over 5 weeks and went straight ti MS rather than GP, so it seems to be a bit quicker than others here.
I had a phine consultation last night and i have an appointment for medical abortion on Monday.
This isn't a position i ever thought I'd find myself in, but i know this is the right choice for me and my family.

Could you try a different provider and ask for surgical? It might be a little quicker for you then you aren't waiting around so long.
I know for me that once i had made my decision i just wanted to get the ball rolling and now i just can't wait for it to be over.

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