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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Just found out I'm pregnant. I don't want to be.

(76 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

sexndrugsnsausagerolls Mon 11-Jun-18 13:54:45

I don't know what to do. I am absolutely gutted. Very very unplanned, casual relationship.

I know no one can tell me what to do but I don't have anyone else I can tell right now and just needed to get it out.

furryelephant Mon 11-Jun-18 13:56:18

Whatever you decide, you will get through it! Have you told the father? Accepting it it without doubt the hardest part, then deciding where to go from therethanks

SporkInTheToaster Mon 11-Jun-18 14:04:45

Have you got a trusted friend you can talk it through with?

If you are sure or pretty sure you don’t want to proceed with the pregnancy then you can book into your local sexual health / family planning clinic to discuss your options. They won’t judge and you’ll get access to kind, honest, empathetic professional help.

BPAS.org has some good, impartial resources in the meantime regarding pregnancy choices. You can access their info, their advice lines or their full clinical services.

You can also access treatment on the NHS via your local sexual health clinic or GP. You may struggle to access counselling through these routes as a lot of local funding has been cut for support services.

Frosty66612 Mon 11-Jun-18 14:07:12

Do you know how far gone you are? BPAS are great and can give you counselling to decide, or just book you straight in for a termination if that’s what you want

IJustLostTheGame Mon 11-Jun-18 14:07:54

flowersflowersflowers

sexndrugsnsausagerolls Mon 11-Jun-18 15:04:02

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the kindness.

I have no idea how far gone, haven't had a period since coming off the pill five months ago (been using condoms since, obviously not very effectively). How can I find out?

Just heading to my local sexual health clinic now to see if they can refer for a termination. I think that's what I want. Had one years ago when I was a teenager which I found very hard, really feel shit about going through it again.

sexndrugsnsausagerolls Mon 11-Jun-18 15:05:27

I have couple of friends I can talk to, I know they would be supportive of any decision.

Father doesn't know yet, am going to tell him this evening.

Singlenotsingle Mon 11-Jun-18 15:08:53

Any idea how far gone you are? It's a bit worrying that you haven't had a period for 5 months?

Littlelambpeep Mon 11-Jun-18 15:09:38

It's not your fault and I hope you get someone kind to talk to flowers

Singlenotsingle Mon 11-Jun-18 15:09:44

Maybe get a scan...

TheGreatestHo Mon 11-Jun-18 15:13:44

You'll be offered a scan - especially with how long you've gone without a period.

AviatorShades Mon 11-Jun-18 15:14:06

Best of luck with whatever you decide.flowers

I had no hesitation, phoned the Marie Stopes clinic, went through the system there. no regrets at all.

Frosty66612 Mon 11-Jun-18 15:14:13

Do you look like you’re showing yet at all?

Curlywurlywurly Mon 11-Jun-18 15:16:01

Once you find out how many weeks you are you'll be able to take whichever direction you want. There is a choice and there are people that will help you with your decision.

sexndrugsnsausagerolls Mon 11-Jun-18 15:22:34

No not showing I don't know think. Boobs have been sore for last couple of weeks. Thought I was coming on my period.

Have called Marie Stopes and got a private appointment for consultation on Thursday if NHS is going to take too long.

SporkInTheToaster Mon 11-Jun-18 15:39:00

Wherever you go, they’ll scan you to date the gestational age of the pregnancy as it determines what treatment options are available to you. All the best flowers

selfishcrab Mon 11-Jun-18 16:25:31

Marie Stopes have counselling (BPAS don't have qualified counsellors just advisors) if you want to talk just book an appointment with them.
It's not your fault and you can get through this, I agree with talking to trusted friends and working out what is ok for you.

sexndrugsnsausagerolls Mon 11-Jun-18 17:04:07

Thanks so much everyone. I have been referred via the NHS, they said they would do a scan to date the pregnancy, and should be able to have termination in next one or two weeks if I decide to go ahead. I am so so grateful to have access to this.

AviatorShades Mon 11-Jun-18 17:22:34

I'm so pleased that you're taking the actions you need, OP.

I couldn't access the NHS cos of living abroad, so from my first late night phone call to Marie Stopes, through to the appt with the Counsellor and then to the termination and aftercare, i experienced nothing but kindness from everybody, including the porters who wheeled me down to theatresmile

All the very very best to you.

Lottapianos Mon 11-Jun-18 17:26:15

Good work OP. Sounds like you're making the right decision for you. It is indeed something we should all be grateful to have access to. Very best of luck x

Mooey89 Mon 11-Jun-18 17:28:01

Good luck with everything

sexndrugsnsausagerolls Tue 12-Jun-18 13:18:27

Thanks everyone. I told the father last night and he was lovely about it. His preference is a termination but appreciates that it is my decision.

I wish I didn't have to make it though. Feeling very very wobbly today. I think a lot will depend on how far gone I am, I really hope the NHS contact me soon but if not got private Marie Stopes appointment on Thursday morning. Does anyone know if they'll do a dating scan at the first appointment?

sexndrugsnsausagerolls Tue 12-Jun-18 13:21:42

Argh, I just realised the title of this thread might be upsetting for those struggling with getting pregnant, so so sorry if I have upset anyone. Perhaps I should get title changed or thread removed?

Frosty66612 Tue 12-Jun-18 13:22:13

Yes you will def get a dating scan on first appt as they won’t be able to advise on which type of termination otherwise. Medical is usually only offered now before 8 weeks, and after that you have to have surgical (at least that was the case for me when I went).
Good luck x

Sugarpiehoneyeye Tue 12-Jun-18 13:37:29

Thinking of you OP, and sending you a warm handhold, you'll be okay Sweet.

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