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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Nearly 4 months since I had an abortion...

(6 Posts)
Topaz89 Sat 10-Feb-18 19:27:56

And it's really taken its toll on me. My head is just fucked. It's just something that I never in a billion years thought I would go through and I still struggle to accept that I have had one. I look back and think what came over me? I wasn't "me" when I did it because the real me would never have done it.
I know FIVE people who are due babies around the same time as my baby would have been due. All I can think of is that I am going to go through life thinking my child would have been their child's age, my child would have been starting school like theirs etc...
At the moment I just see a very bleak future.
It's heartbreaking because this time last year I was a completely different person. I was so happy and I had high hopes for the future. I was excited about many things. Now I just feel a constant emptiness that never goes away no matter what I do.

I don't really know why I'm posting this. Sometimes it's just good to get it all out and talk.

littleorange Sat 10-Feb-18 20:16:48

Do you want to talk more about how you are feeling?

It's a very common experience. Some find it upsetting, some empowering, some a neutral experience. There's no time frame to get over it.

AnnaLuna Wed 14-Feb-18 21:24:26

Topaz89, do you have kids? Do you want to have kids in the future?
What made you choose termination?
Sorry, you don’t have to answer if it’s uncomfortable for you.

misslost Wed 14-Feb-18 22:52:46

I still feel the same as u Topaz, in fact worse now the due date is getting near, I think not a day I don't cry, you are right, I too felt like a different person, fear is what came over me and talking to the wrong people, how they fed the fears, what can I say, really, nothing, nothing anyone says will change how i feel, so, I guess, we just live, everyday as it comes, I'm sorry. xx your're not a lone, don't feel like your alone, your not. hugs to u. xxxx

Branleuse Wed 14-Feb-18 23:05:22

Its still really early days. Your hormones will still be settling. You might feel like this for a while, but it will go. Just remember your reasons and be kind to yourself x

Ollivander84 Wed 14-Feb-18 23:09:08

It does get a little easier. I can't describe how I was around the termination, but sat on the floor in the car park sobbing and wondered how I was meant to carry on living knowing I had to terminate when I didn't want to (complicated situation)
I don't have any DC, and I feel that was my only chance which makes me sad
However I'm 5 years on and it's a little easier to cope with every day that passes

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