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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Waiting a year when you are in your mid/late 30s...

(1 Post)
loststarling Sat 10-Feb-18 15:16:58

Hi all. First post, so please forgive any missteps!

I'm 36, partner 41. Been together a year. He has kids, I don't.

I have never been passionate to have them before, but now that I spend a lot of time with him and his, and am getting older, I really feel that I would like to add one of our own to the family. He has been back and forth on the issue (keen when drunk and sentimental - much more cagey sober!)

We've talked a lot recently and he says he wants to wait a year - but without guaranteeing that he will definitely want to do it. In a year I will be 37 going on 38, so if he says no in a year, that is probably it for me.

I can see his point that a year is not very long for us to have been together - but we are not that young - and it feels like a VERY long time to be sitting on the question of whether one is going to have children or even able to. His other kids happily accept me, so it's not about that.

Anyone been through anything like this - or can share some honest thoughts on what it is like to be a step-parent without any of your own? I imagine it would feel quite sad and difficult at times, for me.

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