Termination due to acrania-anencephaly

[Subo2018]

Today was possibly the worst day of our lives, we were referred to a specialist who confirm our little baby has acrania which would lead to anencephaly and would not be compatible with life outside the womb. We are completely broken. We have been given two options of medical or surgical termination. We have opted for surgical, has anyone had any experience of this? Will I be in pain after? They have said they will send our baby for tests and then when returned to the hospital the hospital will hold a funeral. I almost feel like a fraud for grieving for someone we haven't met but see our baby moving and hearing their heartbeat just made it so real.

[LastYearsUsername]

That sounds heartbreaking. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I have no personal experience to offer, only that of a friend who said the emotional pain was the hardest to deal with.
Is the hospital funeral your choice, as it does not read like that, but there may be more than one option if that is something you could do your way it's worth an ask, most funeral directors look after children without asking for a fee x

[Subo2018]

@LastYearsUsername thanks for your kind words. I asked what happens to babies at the hospital as I wasn't sure and they said that every baby has a funeral. I was very upset at the thought they just throw them away as they are so small and so she reassured me they held funerals for every baby and that we could attend. It's quite confronting but will make thing very real.

[ApacheEchidna]

so sorry for your loss.

Your grief is real and valid and will always ache but you will come to terms with it. You are no fraud.

What the surgical procedure is like will depend a bit on how many weeks along your little one grew to.

My experience was that the physical pain after was no worse than an extremely heavy period. There were cramps and occasional shooting pains but bearable. I didn't realise how long I would bleed afterwards. But your experience may be different.

[PorklessPie]

Hi @Subo2018 I had similar in 2009. Went for my 12 week scan to be told it was anencephaly but would need to be confirmed at a larger hospital when the pregnancy had a chance to progress (despite the sonographer being 99% certain). I was 15 weeks by the time I was seen and it was confirmed anencephaly with no skill from the eyebrows up. I was refered back for a medical termination.
I took a tablet then had to return in two days to complete the procedure. For me it was like labour (3rd pregnancy) I used gas and air and it was very painful. But I was still in such a daze from it all.
Take care of yourself and you are welcome to message me