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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

How do you cope with due date?

(15 Posts)
roastandyorkies Sun 28-Jan-18 13:59:49

Hi all - just that really 😔 still really regret my abortion. Think about it and cry about it every day.

But what would have been my due date is rapidly approaching. How do I get through it I can't see how I'll be able to carry on functioning if I see a newborn out and about like I should have had 💔

Topaz89 Sun 28-Jan-18 14:23:36

Hi roastandyorkies I'm right there with you. I've seen your posts before and I really do know the pain you are feeling flowers

I already have a plan for my due date. Well, sort of. My plan is to go out and do something spectacular with my kids on that day. My due date is on a Friday during the half term in May so I might even book a long weekend away. That's the only thing I can think of really.

roastandyorkies Sun 28-Jan-18 14:36:49

Hi @Topaz89 I remember you too thanks

Hope you are doing ok?

My due date is a Monday and I will be at work sadly sad it's come round so quickly sad

Topaz89 Sun 28-Jan-18 14:54:10

I'm getting by. I've packed counselling in because it doesn't help. I think about the abortion everyday and get so upset thinking about what the what ifs. But until counsellors can erase bad memories I will not be going back.
I'm angry at certain people for their influence over me these past few years. After I had my youngest, 2 people told me not to have any more. Their words stuck with me and when I thought they would be understanding about my decision they made me feel like shit. I feel like everyone who knows about it views me differently, like I have failed at parenting and that I killed my baby. I just want to scoop my children up and leave.
The days and weeks are flying by. I feel like I haven't really been here these past 3 months, as though none of this is real.

roastandyorkies Sun 28-Jan-18 15:51:29

Did you go ahead with ttc?

Very few people know about mine which is good. But I wish I'd taken the opportunity to give my son a sibling. It would have been fine.

Lostoldusername Mon 29-Jan-18 08:11:25

I've wondered this too.

I know I had my termination for all the right reasons for us as a family but I still feel so shit about it.
Not many people know about mine and to be honest I don't even think my husband will remember the due date but im not sure what to do. I don't want it to just pass but I don't want it to be made into a sad day either.

manderleydreams Mon 29-Jan-18 21:43:51

The due date of my much regretted termination is Monday too. Haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet, although I will be at work.

I’ve been dreading this day coming round and now I know it will be here in days. Only me and my husband knew about the termination and I’m pretty certain I want spend my time after work on my own.

needahugbug Mon 29-Jan-18 22:17:36

Hi all I'm in a dilemma where I may be terminating a pregnancy but was worried how I'd cope with the due date and also with friends then having babies. I guess only time will tell and be a healer?

MegF49 Sun 04-Feb-18 12:35:51

I found myself counting the months that passed religiously, I would find myself thinking "Oh I would have been... months pregnant today." I had a medical abortion November 2016 and just there at Christmas time I couldn't help but so feel sad thinking I would have had a 6 month old. My partner and I both regret is so much and it definitely affected our relationship. We have to remind ourselves we done it because we weren't financially ready whatsoever - but sometimes when we're having midnight chats we say maybe we could have made it work! It's such a horrible feeling to be filled with heartache and regret, even if some days it's easier to live with, it's still always there. I feel your pain and please know you're not alone.

specialsubject Sun 04-Feb-18 12:58:23

You haven't failed and you didn't kill a baby. Most anti abortion types don't help after birth - all talk, no action.

I wish you peace.

manderleydreams Sun 04-Feb-18 18:39:17

My due date is tomorrow. Spent the day crying and being furious with myself for letting this happen.
I even keep reading about others on this board who are undecided and I’m so jealous of them- because they still have the choice and the ability to make the decision that I should’ve made.
Why wasn’t I stronger? Why didn’t I stand up for my baby?

roastandyorkies Sun 04-Feb-18 19:50:30

Omg @manderleydreams I feel exactly like you thanks

manderleydreams Sun 04-Feb-18 22:22:41

I hope your days goes as well as it can tomorrow roastandyorkies 💕

MaverickSnoopy Tue 13-Feb-18 15:19:05

Ladies, I had a termination about 9 years ago and I deeply regretted it. I just wanted to say one thing which may or may not help, so take it with a pinch of salt. You don't know that if you went ahead with it, that you wouldn't have been equally as unhappy with your decision as you feel now. There is no knowing. You made the best decision you could at the time for all of the right reasons and I can't imagine any of you look the decision lightly.

Personally as much as it still makes me sad and I still wonder I KNOW that I would not have the life or family I have now had I gone ahead with it. We would not have our home, we may not even be married and we wouldn't be expecting our third child.

Be kind to yourselves and do whatever you need to do to get through your hard days. flowers

roastandyorkies Tue 13-Feb-18 18:07:01

Thank you @MaverickSnoopy and you are absolutely right. I would be shitting bricks right now about giving birth in a fortnight to a baby who's father repeatedly referred to him/her as the fucking baby. I do know that. But it's hard 💔 and I do wish I kept my baby 😔

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