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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Surgical termination and infertility in the future

(7 Posts)
Bubblegum89 Thu 30-Nov-17 15:45:11

Anyone experienced this?

I had a surgical termination almost 3 years ago. I didn’t want one. I wanted to keep the baby but for reasons I won’t go into, I felt that I had no choice and ended up terminating. I chose a surgical option (I was almost 15 weeks. Partly down to waiting times, partly down to me desperately trying to get my partner to change his mind) and wanted to be under GA as I was far too upset at the whole thing as it was, I didn’t want to be awake and see/hear what was going on. I have never got over it and I don’t think I ever will.

At the end of last year, we decided to start ttc. Both of us were in a much better place financially, mentally etc than we were when I got pregnant the first time. I had been on the pill when I got pregnant and so after the termination I switched to the implant. Had it removed to start ttc. It’s been a year and I’ve been unable to get pregnant again.

I have a daughter from a previous relationship (she’s 9) who was also conceived while I was on the pill so I was able to get pregnant very easily in the past. But since having the termination, I’ve been unable to get pregnant even when timing intercourse and being on no birth control at all. Of course, This makes the termination even more of a nightmare for me. As someone who was already distraught, knowing that that could well have been my last chance at having a baby kills me. My hormones are fine, my partner’s sperm is fine. I think something happened during my surgery that has caused me to be infertile and I think it is most likely irreversible and irreparable. But then I feel like I can’t be upset or angry because I had my chance and maybe this is karma sad

holasoydora Sun 03-Dec-17 21:27:05

OP just saw your post flowers. Lots of people take a year plus to conceive for various reasons, including secondary infertility for unknown cause which is often later resolved. It is NOT because of karma. You say you have a nine year old so it could be more of a normal age thing and won't necessarily mean you can't conceive again.

I wonder if you could go back to the clinic and ask to speak to a counsellor. They will almost certainly still be happy to talk to you even though it was three years ago. I really feel that talking it through might help. Apart from anything else TTC must be really stressful while you are carrying that grief without an outlet to talk it through.

(((Hugs)))

holasoydora Sun 03-Dec-17 21:32:03

Ps please don't feel you don't have a right to be upset. You had a termination for what were valid reasons at the time. That was then and this is now. It is stressful when you are TTC for a long time. We look to blame ourselves when it doesn't happen but it is often just one of those things. flowers

Bubblegum89 Sat 16-Dec-17 00:44:19

Just saw your reply. Thank you so much smile I’ve had all my bloods done and my partner has had a SA and all has come back normal so the probability is that the issue is something physical and so I can only imagine scarring/blocked tubes. I was considering counselling but I couldn’t ever step foot back in that clinic again, I’d have to go elsewhere. It’s been awful not being able to conceive, I keep thinking that maybe it will never happen and I threw away a chance 3 years ago. I love my parter to bits but sometimes I just want to hate him for making me do it. I don’t and I wouldn’t because I know that he feels incredibly guilty now and he may have given up his only chance of having a biological child but when I’m having a down day, like when my period shows up yet again, I just want to yell at him “this is your fault!” Sounds awful I know. I have an appointment at the fertility clinic next week and hopefully they will be able to tell me why I can’t conceive. I know deep down what the issue is and I know IVF will be our only option but we just can’t afford it so it will kind of be the end of the road sad

Purple39797 Sat 16-Dec-17 00:48:12

Well this post just made my heart race for all the wrong reasons. OP are you saying surgical abortion can cause permanent infertility?! I’m phoning clinic i went to tomorrow - no one ever mentioned this to me. Ever.

Nowifi Sun 17-Dec-17 23:08:42

Purple don't be alarmed please I had a surgical termination and conceived 2 years later. OP I really hope you get the baby you wish for flowers

Bubblegum89 Tue 19-Dec-17 10:41:00

It CAN cause infertility purple but it doesn’t mean it will. Like all surgery, it comes with risks but from what I believe, it’s fairly rare to become infertile after a SA. I guess I’m just unlucky

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