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Anyone on here had an abortion?

(8 Posts)
kellyrichards Sun 12-Nov-17 19:27:57

Im 19 and recently found out that I'm pregnant with my fiance and really worked up about it all. Obviously Im happy that Im pregnant with my partner however im worried that we would struggle given our circumstances which I will explain. I am currently 7wks 4 days writing this post.

My partner is coming out of the army for medical reasons at approx March 2018 ,and I've recently started a new job however only on a temp contract that comes to an end at the end of December - there is a chance of me being extended or even a permanent position but I wont know about this until middle of December. At this point I will be 11 weeks roughly. I'm worried that if i decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and I'm not kept on in work then I'm going to have no income what so ever when we have rent to pay and bills etc and preparing for a baby! My OH is on a very good wage and said he will support me and the baby as much as he could IF thats how my work situation turns out. However this isnt fair and we dont know how long he could be out of work once hes finally left the army?? Its making my decision harder as only 3 months ago i found out I was pregnant for the first time, but miscarried at 6wks 2days.

Im leaning more towards having an abortion but im so up and down, one day im having a baby and the next im in tears in an absolute mess over not knowing whats best to do! I want to be the best mother possible to my baby but im really unsure if right now is best for me and my baby!

I haven't told any of my family - my mother found out i had been pregnant after i had a miscarriage (made out it was all my fault and i was ruining my life) and my dad is amazing but i haven't got that daughter and father relationship to discuss abortion or not to abortion

Has anyone here had an abortion? What was your story and experience? How long does it take from telling a doctor you want an abortion to it actually happening? I'm so frightened and scared of maybe having to take this route, I feel guilty having to make such a horrible decision sad

.

user2085372673 Sun 12-Nov-17 20:07:16

I’ve not had one but I’m sure someone will be along soon with some good advice about having one.

I have however, been in your position with a pregnancy I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue with so I did book an abortion that I didn’t end up having. I found out I was pregnant on the Wednesday night and in my area there wasn’t an appointment until the Friday the week after (9 days later.) However, I have a friend who did have one and she found out she was pregnant on the Wednesday and had hers on the Sunday so I guess it depends on where you live and what appointments are available.

The people at Marie Stopes or BPAS are so helpful and I would give them a call. I think they are open 24 hours and they can tell you right away where you can get one and when there are appointments. Marie Stopes also offer telephone counselling.

I was really frightened too, but the right choice will come to you and in the end.

Good luck, such a sad position to be in but it will be ok. Xx

Hannabee123 Sun 12-Nov-17 20:39:46

My sister had one within a week of finding out and going to doctors - for the exact same thing. Her situation at the time didn't seem ideal at all. She didn't think it through fully and rationally and came to deeply regret it.
I'm not saying this to put you off but please give yourself time to think it through, talk to a counsellor and decide that it is really what you want.
There is always ways and means if you want to keep the child and I'm a strong believer in things happening for a reason.

The process was quick I went with her at the time. She went to hospital to have a vacuum type procedure done. She was very emotional and I stayed with her for a while after she had it done. She didn't really talk about it much so I'm sorry that I can not offer you more information about what she had done. She had a bleed for 2 or 3 weeks after and that was it

Angryangryyoungwoman Sun 12-Nov-17 20:44:01

I have had one and it was the right decision for me. I'd say that it was the right thing for me to do and I have no regrets. It is a personal decision though, so no matter what anyone else thinks or says, or has experienced themselves, you must make a decision that is right for you and only you. I know it is hard and there is no right or wrong, that is why it must be what you decide, no-one else. flowers

TheTroutofNoCraic Sun 12-Nov-17 20:55:53

I had one about 5 years ago. I was 6 weeks when I went to doctor and had termination 3 weeks later.

Similarly, I have helped a friend (who has very poor English) book an appointment with BPAS recently. Called the helpline last Sunday (5th) and the earliest appointment within 50 miles was Wed 15th...and that's for the initial consultation, so goodness knows how long the wait for the actual procedure will be.

My advice, book the appointment...whether you are sure or not, give yourself the option as you may face a long wait to even be seen. You'll have right up until the procedure to decide. Keep your options open.

Hope everything works out for the best for you. It's the hardest decision in the world.x

mallardduckponds Sun 12-Nov-17 20:57:46

I've had two and no regrets.

Mine were spectacularly unspectacular. I didn't even bleed. The actual experience is unpleasant, like a conveyor belt, but it doesn't hurt or anything.

Topaz89 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:35:34

I had one nearly 3 weeks ago.
The process isn't so bad. I had the medical one so it was just like having a heavy period for me. I've stopped bleeding now and my body feels back to normal.

It's the emotional athermath that nobody prepares you for. Please think long and hard, have counselling etc..

caramelcreme17 Tue 14-Nov-17 03:35:44

I've had one a week ago - my circumstances were very different from yours though as both my boyfriend and I knew from Day 1 it would be a termination as we were students, and we didn't get attached to any other possible outcome. So obviously I can't advise you on emotional matters - the decision is entirely in your hands.

As for going out the procedure, it depends on how far you're willing to travel, tbh. I first phoned BPAS and their first consultation meeting at my nearest clinic was 20 days off, where I'd be 11 weeks - so I called again and got one in 3 days instead, but in Bournemouth which was about three hours (by train) further than the other clinic. For the actual appointment, I got offered one three weeks away in Bournemouth (but I wasn't willing to wait so long), but they had offers of up to six days from my consultation in places like Cardiff/Taunton. It really depends how far you can afford to travel and how long you're emotionally and physically ready to wait.

If not, you can call up your GP and contact your local hospital with a referral! It's a much more straightforward process (no train hopping) but for me the time scale they offered was too many weeks.

Hope everything works out for you xx

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