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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Part 2 emotional abuse :(

(2 Posts)
lydsim25 Fri 03-Nov-17 02:07:37

I wrote in a few days ago..
Been with OH over a year
I'm 3 months pregnant
Don't live together but he was coming to my house staying with me every night..
Involved with each others children etc

So whilst iv been pregnant hes always said have an abortion ... but he carried on a relationship with me which gave me false hope in a sense...

Anyway... I told him a few days ago.. one morning.. look.. it doesn't sit right with me.. im not having an abortion..
He walked out and said hes not talking about it.
Didn't see him for 3 days after that.. no sign of him. I messaged him telling him i had my scan today and he didn't reply to that & didn't come... I cried all the way to my scan and in the hospital.

I sent him a photo of the scan no reply.. he turned up late tonight and said basicaly he doesn't want the baby.. he didn't want to come to the scan as he didn't want to see the baby.. he said he hasn't read his messages as he doesn't want to see scan photos.

He also in a nut shell said if I have the baby we won't be together if i have an abortion wed be together if i could stand the site of him?????
And he said he does love me!! (Bulshit)
Iv got 2 children already they are both in school.. my world. My house is big enough.. I work etc..
We planned on moving in together after Christmas ...

I'm just heart wrenched.
Nothing would make me turn my back on him.. I thought we were best mates...
One day he disappears the next day hes knocking on my door wanting to know what I'm doing.
None of my family know as I'm so embaressed
Its making me hate myself luke this accident is my fault? Like im not good enough, asking myself what more could I of done for him?

Iv been very ill for 3 months with sickness and being tired. All alone in my heart With my daughters
Iv cried buckets.. feel like I'm choosing between my baby and him.

I'm worried & sad & lonely
Feel like iv been strong for too long for everybody.
Iv supported him through alot and been everything to him

I feel so desperate .. the only thing that made me smile lately was when I saw baby on scan today jumping around with no cares in the world

Any advise on this nasty man would be good..
I even rang womens aid then stopped myself and told myself im being dramatic x

ScarryMommy Fri 03-Nov-17 03:30:05

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish I had advise on this man, but I don't.
I can only say that, my husband is/was a very supportive partner when we chose to terminate. The emotional aspects of the termination have been very hard to deal with. I can say with almost certainty that if my dh had pushed me into one, I would definitely resent him right now.
I can also say that I thought I was sure I didn't want another baby, and yet the loss of the pregnancy is still very difficult. Since you obviously want this baby, I can't imagine trying to recover from that, especially after seeing it on a scan.
I'm not trying to talk you into or out of a termination. But I think you already know that if you choose to terminate, it will be very difficult to recover from.
Unless your partner has a change of heart, there is no real outcome here. I think you have to plan your future without him either way, and then decide if you want that future to include your baby.

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