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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Terrified for upcoming surgical abortion - experiences/advice?

(5 Posts)
caramelcreme17 Sun 29-Oct-17 03:00:00

I found out I was pregnant, exactly a week ago - my period's often super temperamental and I'd waited for 2 weeks before taking the test! My boyfriend and I immediately had a chat and tried contacting our GP, who was very rude and judgemental (which is funny because I was registered to a university clinic that surely must face a lot of unplanned pregnancies from the kids... poor them if that's what they have to endure), and made me wait a week only to say I'd have to ring Stopes or BPAS. I'm around 7weeks4days now, and have given BPAS a ring - they fitted me in for a consultation Wednesday and am hoping the actual procedure soon-ish... so around 9 weeks.

I am terrified, especially because I'll be alone. My boyfriend (who's child it is) is incredibly supportive and agrees fully about the termination (we're both pursuing our phDs at universities across the country and can't give up everything, not to mention the financial issues) - but he is in Oxford and can't get off at all during weekdays. I didn't want to tell friends here either, as word gets around quickly and I live in a conservative/religious area and don't want to offend anyone.

I'll be definitely opting for a surgical termination - as the clinic they gave me is about a 3 hour train journey from where I live and I know if I start bleeding and passing the pregnancy on the train it would be horrific. The only problem is, I'll have to go for surgical, under local anaesthetic since I have nobody to drive me home... can anyone who's ever gone through it tell me how painful it is? Please do share your experiences with surgical (or even surgical with local anaesthetic!) please, because I'm really, really afraid. Not of losing the baby, or about the termination but about the procedure itself.

MaverickSnoopy Sun 29-Oct-17 07:16:10

I had one at 9w about 9 years ago now. It was fine. I got taken through and I remember feeling floaty/out of it. I remember having an awareness of what was going on but a bit like an out of body experience. Afterwards I sat in a room with other woman, in sort of dentist chairs laying down. I was given tea and biscuits and a rest for a bit. Then I was fine to go home, but I had a friend with me show drove. Tbh having someone with me was important and when I got home I needed to go to bed. It was like being on a period really but for me emotional too because I hadn't really wanted an abortion even though I knew it was the right thing for us. I don't think I would have managed to travel home alone, simply for the reason that I felt very fragile and tired, but I'm sure there are others who could. I think it was more the way that I dealt with it.

I'm sure it'll be fine. I understand why you don't want to tell people, but do you have anyone who you trust to go with you? I would try if I could to find someone.

TerrifyingFeistyCupcake Sun 29-Oct-17 07:23:13

I had a surgical under conscious sedation at ten weeks, but tbh I don't think the drip with the meds had kicked in when the procedure started so it was effectively the local anaesthetic. The injection into my cervix was pinchy and uncomfortable but the procedure is very quick. I had no real pain either during or after (although to be fair the drip would have definitely kicked in by afterwards). It was fine honestly, in fact my least favourite part of it was the reaction I had to the conscious sedation drugs. Because of them I couldn't have driven myself, but otherwise I think it would have been fine.

The procedure is over almost before you know it and they will probably talk to you through it, like they did with me. I honestly barely knew it was happening. I don't think it will be nearly as bad as you think.

roastandyorkies Sun 29-Oct-17 16:02:41

Hi op I'm sorry you have found yourself in this position. Is there a possibility that you could go to Oxford for the procedure so you can be accompanied?

I had a surgical (after a failed medical) and couldn't go through with the first attempt as I was alone and therefore on local only. You sound in a good place with your decision however which was part of my issue however I would recommend having someone with you if at all possible.

I do see your point about not wanting anyone to be offended though as I was the same until I finally plucked up the courage to tell my mum and wished I'd done it sooner.

The actual procedure I had conscious sedation in the end and I felt drunk and mild pain.

I hope you are ok xx

ScarryMommy Thu 02-Nov-17 02:52:50

I had the surgical procedure without any sedation, as I had to drive myself as well. Honestly, it wasn't bad at all. I've had pap smears that hurt worse. They still use injectables to numb your cervix, you just don't get the sedation to relax you. The whole thing took 5-10 minutes. You can do anything for 10 minutes. They put the lovely clamp in, and then insert a small tube, about pencil size in diameter. There was slight pinching when they gave me the injections, but hurt less than my tattoos. And it was over so quickly. Then they just gave me a heating pad, as you immediately get bad cramps. I probably sat in a room with a couple other women for 20-30 minutes, then drove home. The physical part is not what hurts, so I wouldn't worry about that. Brace yourself to have deep, conflicting feelings. The emotional part is the hardest. The procedure is easy.

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