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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Really don't know how I'm going to do this

(7 Posts)
OhShit2017 Sun 08-Oct-17 18:46:21

I found out this morning that I am pg. According to dates of last period I am 3+5. I am still in shock and so sad that there is no way I can keep this baby, I have not been with my bf long and both of us have very complicated lives and existing dc. It would be the wrong thing for everyone to have this baby.

So this morning I went into practical mode and phoned up the central booking line. I have my first appointment on 17th October, where they will scan me and discuss my options. I have had a surgical termination before and that is what I would choose to do again, so I chose a clinic that offered this. However, having thought about everything more today I've realised that this is the worst possible timing. My dc break up for half term on the 20th, and my bf is going abroad with his dc for a week on the 24th. There's a very good chance going on the dates that the procedure would be whilst he is away and the kids are off. I have told my bf and a close friend, but I really don't want to tell anyone else in real life, I don't want to make it any more real. I think the only way I can cope with this is just to focus on the practical and try not to get too emotional.

So I don't know how the hell I am going to do this. The dc will be off school and I won't have anyone to drive me to/from the clinic. My friend that I told is starting a new full time job that week so she won't be able to help out. I won't have anyone to stay with me for 24 hours like you're supposed to. My bf will be away so I won't have any emotional support from him. This basically leaves me with the option of having a medical termination which I REALLY don't want to do, I think I would find that far more traumatic.

Of course the other option is to just wait until after 6th November when the dc go back to school, and my bf will be back. But I think another month of being pg will drive me mad, I just want to get it over and done with as soon as possible.

Sorry this is probably a bit of a jumbled mess. My head feels like a jumbled mess right now.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 08-Oct-17 18:47:30

If you're 3+5 your period isn't even due yet, is it? Would you have to go down the surgical route?

OhShit2017 Sun 08-Oct-17 18:49:08

My cycle is 23 days so I'm 4 days late. No I don't have to go down the surgical route but the thought of having a medical abortion is really upsetting. I'd far rather be out for the count and know nothing about it.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 08-Oct-17 18:50:40

Oh okay. Sorry you've got to make this decision.


OhShit2017 Sun 08-Oct-17 23:06:31

Does anyone know how long it usually takes from dating scan appointment to getting booked in? If I can go back before the end of that week I should be OK.

roastandyorkies Mon 09-Oct-17 08:15:04

I went for initial appt on a Friday and they offered me the following Wednesday but I deferred it a few days so my son was away overnight. They were fine with that.

ScarryMommy Thu 12-Oct-17 07:20:00

I had to wait until 6 weeks to have the medical abortion. I also went by myself due to work schedules and kids bus schedules. Honestly, it was really quick and very minimal pain. The hardest part is just mentally knowing what's happening, but I imagine that's the same no matter what method you use.

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