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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

When does it get better?

(5 Posts)
suga4spice Sun 08-Oct-17 07:39:06

I had a medical abortion at the end of August. I think I just went into practical mode and went through the motions.

I'm 32 have an 11 year old and have been with DP for four years. Practically I didn't want to rock the boat. I didn't want to deal with the mental load of another child. DO is great as a partner. We don't live together and he isn't financially stable. I knew I made the right decision for myself.

But now I can't stop crying. I've avoided my best friend who is pregnant as I just cannot face it. I've cancelled my birthday celebrations as I feel like there is nothing to celebrate.

I feel like there is this intense bubble of pain that sits on my chest. I find myself withdrawing as I cannot bear the company of others.
I'm angry at myself for not being able to provide for a much wanted child. I am angry for sticking with a partner who cannot give me the things I want in life.

I am just wondering when it will get better. I need to force myself out of this woe is me an be grateful to what I have.

dede124 Sun 08-Oct-17 13:06:01

Sorry your feeling like this. It's a hard decision and it is something that stays with you for life but time is a great healer and you did what you felt was right at the time even though it may not feel like it now it will get better. Keep remembering why you made that decision and remember that it is done and there is no point in beating yourself up about it. You will find it hard to be around pregnant people and people with new baby's in the near future I was the same but it will get better @suga4spice  take care X

roastandyorkies Sun 08-Oct-17 17:01:08

If you find the answer to this please let me know. I had a surgical at the end of August after a medical at the end of July failed and I chickened out of an earlier surgical in mid August. Still feel so regretful and close to tears. No one understands and oh doesn't want me to mention it.

It's rubbish and I hope you find peace soon xx

misslost Sun 08-Oct-17 22:57:49

Same as you all. sad xxx hugs to everyone. What can I say? the emotions when pregnant are wild, even more so when little support is around, its all very scary, I went into a panic, but, no time machine so I have to get on with life, and dont beat urself up, ur not a bad person, none of us are, we care or else we wouldnt still feel so bad.

ScarryMommy Thu 12-Oct-17 07:26:56

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it's such a difficult thing to go through. And the guilt afterwards can be the worst. But I do think your grief will heal, just takes time to process it all. I know how scary it is to tell people, but do you have a close friend you can talk to about it with? I know I felt alot better when I felt like I wasn't trying to contain this giant secret. I didn't tell everyone, just one friend, but it helped alot.

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