Regretful Termination/Abortion

[ceej91]

Hi all,

Hoping for some advice! Both myself and my partner have been together for 4 years and had discussed on many occasions staring a family and agreed that we weren't quite ready but maybe in the next 1-2 years. I couldn't wait for the time we decided we could start trying as I was desperate for a family with my OH.

Long story short I unexpectedly fell pregnant. At first I was scared but at the same time over the moon. My partner didn't deal with it too well... he panicked, said he wasn't sure if we could do this, became really cold towards me etc. I felt so let down that after so long, I panicked myself and decided I couldn't do this either! I told my partner I was going to terminate and had convinced my stubborn self this was what I was going to do as I could not rely on my partner anymore.

Since this decision he broke down, told me he wanted it more than anything, he wanted a family with me. He has always been a family man and great with kids. I went ahead with the termination against his wishes and for 6 weeks, I felt it was right. Now, all of a sudden, I feel a major loss. I want to be a mum again, I want a family again. I don't want to replace the baby I lost, I just want a family, as I so desperately wanted before.

I can't decide if I am just grieving and made the right decision, or I just panicked and now majorly regret my choices?!

Am I wrong to want to start again after 3 months?!

[MidnightVelvetthe7th]

So basically his attitude towards you stunk & because of this you terminated, then once his perceived 'problem' has gone away & he's fine & dandy, its OK to blame it all on you & make it out to be all your fault?

Are you sure you want to have a baby with this man? I'm interested as to what the rest of your relationship is like tbh....

Out of interest when you told him you were going to terminate, what was his reaction?

[ceej91]

We have good relationship! Been through some rocky patches as any couple but always pull trough.

I blame it all on him but at the time never considered his temporary panic - he was in a new job, we don't own a house (not the end of the world as we rent) I am awful with money and owe a lot...

Since I said I was going to terminate I think he had a major epiphany and has been a different person. He begged me not to terminate but I did, out of my own panic. He had told me on so many occasions he wanted a family with me. I suppose we are both to blame, he treated me wrong, I told something away from him he begged me not to.

He is a great man, he has qualities I won't find in another man (although far from perfect).