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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Having termination at 17 weeks due to fetal abnormalities

(9 Posts)
Dmt80 Tue 06-Jun-17 19:53:15

I hope I've posted this in the correct thread and someone can offer their own experience. I am going into hospital tomorrow to have the second procedure of my medical termination done and extremely scared as I don't know just how much pain to expect. This is my first pregnancy so aside from the emotional loss of a wanted baby, the physical side is causing me additional stress. Is there anyone who has been through similar - I'm open to brutally honest experiences as I'm kind of expecting the worst :'(

katiegg Tue 06-Jun-17 22:39:26

I'm so sorry, op. I have no experience but didn't want to read and run.

Helpful bump and hopefully someone will come along and share their experiences with you. x

Featherweather Wed 07-Jun-17 02:36:09

dear Dmt80, fingers crossed for you tomorrow.
Hugs, too.
I am sorry for your loss.

MaitlandGirl Wed 07-Jun-17 03:17:05

I had a termination at 21 weeks many, many years ago and went through the whole labour in a haze of very strong drugs so remember very little. I do remember that the midwives were incredibly kind and thoughtful though.

One thing I hadn't expected was that the community midwife would visit afterwards, that was a bit of a shock but it made sense as she needed to do the normal checks after the delivery.

She also gave me a prescription to dry up my milk, which came in with a vengeance and provided a good ear for listening to my rants about how it wasn't fair.

I had appointments with specialists to try to work out what had gone 'wrong' and to try to work out the likelihood of it happening again. I found this very helpful as it gave me some control moving forward.

diodati Wed 07-Jun-17 03:25:11

How very sad and difficult for you! I'm so sorry.

I've no personal experience of this but I'm sure everything will be done to ensure that the procedure is as painless as possible.

Thinking of you, OP.flowers

Dmt80 Wed 07-Jun-17 08:09:09

Thank you ladies for taking time out to reply. I guess I will find out soon what to expect and just like you mentioned MaitlandGirl, strong drugs throughout are my best option.

Waggily Fri 09-Jun-17 17:39:10

I had a medical abortion 2 weeks ago because we found out the baby had Edwards Syndrome. I found the procedure not too painful (they are quite free with the painkillers) and the staff were all so kind and compassionate.

Hopefully it hasn't been too awful for you (as much as that is possible). You will probably be very up and down emotionally for a while afterwards. I keep thinking I'm gone and the next day just bring an anxious mess. It is getting easier though.

Take care.

Dmt80 Fri 09-Jun-17 18:13:51

Hi waggily so sad to hear about your loss, I am dreading the next couple of weeks. Similar to you the physical pain wasn't too horrific, only needed diamorphine once but it did last full 48 hours ( got out of hospital today) and it wasn't until after the last dose of drugs that baby came out. The worst part for me was the prospect of having to go to theatre if i didn't deliver for fear of any complications. My midwives were fantastic too and I got a little keepsake box with little memories. I have joined the ARC forum so that may be something that could help you through the days that are hard. I'm in an odd state where I'm just so relieved to be physically fine - the loss and the fact that I'm no longer pregnant has still to hit home.

Waggily Fri 09-Jun-17 21:16:42

I was the same. The day after I felt amazing - a massive weight of worry had been lifted, I no longer had morning sickness and I'd finally slept after two weeks of sleeplessness. I was questioning myself because I felt like a cold, heartless woman. And then I spent the next day in tears. But it does get easier. I found going back to work has helped, made everything a bit more normal.

I found the memory box really helped me come to terms with it all. The little bear that has its twin that stays with the baby made me feel better about leaving the baby and it gave me something to physically hold when I was feeling low.

You've only just lost you baby so it's bound to feel a bit surreal.

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