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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Student: I don't think I can go through with abortion if I'm pregnant

(4 Posts)
daisycookson Thu 11-May-17 21:16:22

So me and my boyfriend haven't been together for that long and we are still students at university. I've been experiencing early signs of pregnancy, I took a test (hoping I was just being paranoid) and got kinda mixed results but that ultimately indicated I'm pregnant. I've booked to get a real medical test to be certain, but when I told my boyfriend he immediately assumed I would also be inquiring about termination.

When I initially arose concerns about pregnancy I told him that I didn't want a child at this age (and especially as I have mental health issues) but this was a conversation we had when it wasn't a very plausible reality. The truth is I feel like a hypocrite deciding to go through with an abortion being a product of failed contraception to young parents. Not only this but I just don't know if this is something I can live with.

My boyfriend is so convinced that we are 100% aborting it though I don't know how to express to him I'm having doubts. He has told me it's ultimately my choice and he will be 100% there for the child if we keep it but it also feels wrong forcing him into parenthood, especially when he is so uncomfortable about the idea.

I love my boyfriend and the idea of having a child terrifies me, but I just don't think I can do this. I know that this is still potentially not an issue but I don't know how to face this without having some kind of decision already made. If anyone could offer any advice I would be so grateful.

Ginmakesitallok Thu 11-May-17 21:21:31

A "real" medical test isn't any more reliable than an over the counter test.

I was in your position about 25 years ago - I chose to terminate my pregnancy - it just wasn't the right time for me. 25 years later dp and I are still together, with 2 beautiful dc. I think about my decision often, but have never regretted it.

How far gone do you think you are?

Lillygolightly Thu 11-May-17 21:29:35

I can't offer you a clear cut answer as to what you should do, that is a choice only you can make.

I can offer some hand holding though as I am in a similar predicament myself except I'm in my mid 30s with 2 DC and been with my OH for 14 years. He doesn't want it and I am on the fence and timing wise it's terrible. I myself haven't done anything about it yet as the one and only thing I do know is that in order to ever be ok with the choice I make is to be 100 percent sure that it's the right one. I'm not there yet on either choice and it's a terribly hard place to be because I feel like I'm in limbo land. I'm sure my OH just thinks I'm being selfish about it as to be honest I've made the choice before, but it was easy then because then I was 100 percent, I wish I could magically make myself feel that way now...would make things so much easier ☹️

barrygetamoveonplease Thu 11-May-17 21:31:25

Don't have an abortion you don't want.
It's up to you.
Not him.

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