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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.


(7 Posts)
perkygherkin Fri 21-Apr-17 06:09:43

Didn't know where to post this but trying here... I am pregnant and absolutely panicking. I am married but in the process of leaving dh and haven't changed my mind about leaving him so want to just go ahead and terminate without him knowing. I don't know how far I am but less than 8 weeks and been told I won't have a scan to find out as long as it's estimated below 8 weeks.
Is it best to have a medical or surgical procedure and do you even get that choice on NHS. I saw my doctor yesterday and said I want an abortion, she didn't ask any questions other than medical history ones and filled out a form and said ring Marie stopes. Just want to know my options before I rush into this. I'm very distressed by it all but trying to stay positive that all will be better in the end.

DustOffYourHighestHopes Fri 21-Apr-17 06:21:40

I can't answer fully, but v quickly:
- ring Marie Stopes and BPAS and you'll be surprised at how supportive and informative they are
- you can generally choose between surgical and medical 'on the NHs' (i.e. free - but the procedure is carried out by Marie Stopes or BPAS, not usually in an NHS hospital). There are certain time limits and factors but the people at MS and BPAS will take you through them.
- you don't need to tell your husband. You don't need to tell anyone.
- you can sometimes have a scan at less than 8 weeks. Mine was carried out the day of the termination.

Good luck dear

perkygherkin Fri 21-Apr-17 06:26:34

Thank you so much for your reply. I have no friends or family left as a result of my marriage and just feel lost.
I will phone them today. I have been told a medical abortion will take place at my local NHS hospital but not sure about other options. Just need to pick up the phone today as couldn't quite get the courage yesterday.

fuzzywuzzy Fri 21-Apr-17 06:26:57

I'd go the surgical route, it's quicker and will get everything over and done with. Talk thro the procedures with the people at Marie Stopes.

My friend had the medical procedure which was essentially taking pills to start the abortion and ended up on hopistall due to severe bleeding anyway.

Maybe take a friend with you when you go for support.

GrumpyDullard Fri 21-Apr-17 06:32:11

I'm so sorry for you. What a shit situation. You clearly have enough to deal with without this. flowers
I got a scan and the pills (medical abortion) the same day when I was about 6 weeks. I bled for a month afterwards, sometimes frighteningly heavily, so I'd go for a surgical if I ever had to do it again.

perkygherkin Fri 21-Apr-17 06:32:16

Thanks for your reply. I am thinking surgical route may be better given the circumstances. Unfortunately only friend has moved to another country so I will have to see what happens if you have no one to help.

Richtea83 Fri 21-Apr-17 14:32:23

I had an early medical abortion (I was 6 weeks) and it was honestly no worse than a heavy period, the pain was easily controlled by co codomol and the bleeding was not that bad.

I chose medical because it felt more natural, but that was just personal preference. Good luck either way, I know you hear lots of bad stories about abortion but honestly I felt so much relief after.

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