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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Pregnant and in need of good advice

(2 Posts)
26andconfused Tue 18-Apr-17 08:18:07

Ok I'll try and keep this short!
I'm confused, scared, stressed and lost. I'm 26, I have an ok job but live in a flat share. My boyfriend is 42 -and was my close friend for 2 years and this has developed into a relationship over 10 months. I only told my mum about him 3 months ago as my family are Catholic and a bit funny about men in my life!

I recently found out I'm pregnant. I am terrified to tell my mum as she will be so incredibly dissapointed in me. I'm worried about money. My boyfriend said he's there for me so that's something - but he's never been sure he wants kids, particularly without money. He works but it's not amazing pay as its freelance. I'm also studying part time.

Yes part of me knows I want to be a mum but I am in no way ready emotionally and financially. My family have not met my boyfriend. I know my mum especially (who is a real hot head and extremely difficult woman) will be livid with me. She often talks about how irresponsible couples are for having children young with no money. I am finding it hard to even think of facing her or breaking it to her. I keep having panic attacks. I told my sister who reacted badly at first, but then said she would support me whatever, even come with me to have an abortion and that an abortion wouldn't make me a bad person.

I spoke to baby father this morning on the phone after he had finished a night shift. He was getting angry, saw a side I've never seen before. He kept saying 'it will be fine, we will sit down and logically talk about it'. I conveyed I felt scared and alone and he just kept shouting 'I'm knackered, there's nothing I can do right now because I'm not with you'. My heart sank. I'm not sure he has the patience to be a father a be disturbed night and day....

I can't decide whether to abort or bite the bullet and go through with it. What are your experiences? Any similarities? And if you ever had an abortion how did you feel about it after? Lots of love X

Janda1314 Thu 20-Apr-17 00:09:51

Sitting down to talk is probably the best idea. As you are are scared, maybe he is too. Perhaps he feels powerless that he can't help you and that was why he snapped at you. The choice is ultimately yours. Your parents may be disappointed, but hopefully after it sinks in they will be fine. You should sit down and figure out what it is that you want. No one can tell you that but you. I have both had an abortion and then couldn't and had the baby. In both instances it worked out okay. That's kinda the way life will always then or okay. Sorry I can't write more but I'm doing so on my phone and it's late. I hope more people have something to say. flowers

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