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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

5 weeks pregnant and I have not a clue what to do...

(3 Posts)
FeedMyFaceWithBattenberg Tue 11-Apr-17 10:01:11

I found out yesterday I'm five weeks pregnant. Not planned. We were using a mixture of condoms, withdrawal, and not having sex around my fertile window.
Long term partner, 7 years and we are getting married next month. I'm 26 and he's 32 (if that makes any difference at all to things!)
We have a house (mortgaged) that we've been in a year. As well as a cat, a dog and a tortoise.
My partner doesn't want to keep it really, though he says he'll support me whatever I want to do. He says he doesn't feel ready, that we have no savings/aren't financially ready for a baby, he commutes 1.5hrs each way for work every day and how would I manage?, also he wanted some time just him and I after we were married.
I feel torn, because I am the one who has to make the decision. He says he'll love the baby no matter what he he'll stand by me, but he wants me to really think about it and not just think with the emotional side of me.
I just do not know at all what to do. I'm so stuck. Please advise.

bangbangprettypretty Tue 11-Apr-17 12:12:09

It doesn't sound like you want to get rid of it OP.

Ultimately if he really didn't want a baby he should have been more insistent on contraception, not just pulling out.

Lots of people have babies without savings and make it work.

Nobody else can make your decision for you but I think your OH abdicating responsibility to you isn't particularly supportive. Your life together sounds fairly well established/domesticated and I think had I realised I was pregnant a month before my wedding we'd have kept it without a doubt. You still have eight months of 'couple time' before your baby would make an appearance.

I might be biased because my DD is only a few days old but DH and I have had the loveliest year while I've been pregnant. Give the news a few days to bed in and then see how you feel but even though it's a shock I'd think quite carefully about your next steps.


Mrsmull2017 Tue 11-Apr-17 19:02:42

Your future together is already mapped out op. . Were babies part of that plan at some point?
Unfortunately babies don't recognise clocks and calenders .
And on paper nobody could afford a child!!
Congratulations. . .

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