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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Sadness and Anxiety after abortion - anybody else?

(8 Posts)
BlindAssassin1 Thu 23-Mar-17 11:52:25

I had a medical abortion a few days ago, which was physically straight forward. But I did not expect to feel such a wave of sadness. I do feel still that it was the right thing for our family at this time though so there is some relief I guess. But the sadness I did not expect. Its overwhelming.
I feel so sad that this was my best choice out a shit situation, sad that my mental health is such an issue (PND after both DC) and sad that money was such a big deciding factor as financially I don't think we'd have coped either.

Also the anxiety. I handed in a copy of the clinic letter to work to get pay sorted out. I wished I'd lied and called in sick with flu tbh. The thought of the big gossiping team I work in knowing about this fills me with horror. No one knows apart from DH and we live in a place where everyone knows everyone else's business and its very judgmental. I can't sleep with the worry of it.

Anyone else?

user1490271758 Thu 23-Mar-17 12:48:31

I am 23 and found out a few days ago that I am about 4 weeks pregnant. I have struggled unbelievably about what I should do as I don't feel ready to have a baby but the thought of abortion kills me and I'm crying all the time sad
I think it is normal to feel so sad and it's an almost impossible decision to make but you are never alone even you feel you are.
Things will get better just give it time and maybe see a counsellor too, this is what I will do if I go through with the termination
Surround yourself with supportive people and just know you made the right decision for yourself.
Good luck to you flowers

BlindAssassin1 Thu 23-Mar-17 14:57:56

Yes, it does seem an impossible decision. It came to a point where I thought I had to do the lesser of two harms. And yes, very teary here too.

I'm not sure about speaking to someone (bad experiences of it years ago) but the people at BPAS were excellent so maybe it would be helpful.

Hope you find some peace user1490271758

0dfod Thu 23-Mar-17 15:02:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jackeve Fri 24-Mar-17 17:06:10

Aww honey, I know exactly how you feel. I had a surgical abortion 4 weeks ago and still feel so upset about it. I know the decision was right for me but I feel so sad.
I already have two teenagers and feel so guilty about how over the moon I was when I found out I was pregnant with them compared to how devastated I felt this time.
I guess I'm also sad as that was my last chance to be a Mum again (I'm 47).
I think hormones are huge part of how we both feel. Take care of yourself
Hugs to you xx

capercaillie Fri 24-Mar-17 21:49:21

I had a surgical termination in November. I was always completely happy with my decision but also had some really unexpected sadness and regret in the few weeks after. Several months on and the sadness has gone. I think some of it may have been hormones and the need to process what had happened. Still no regret just the occasional thought of how things could have been different. I think about it a lot less too. flowers

OsMalleytheCat Fri 24-Mar-17 21:52:19

It gets easier I had a surgical termination about 6 years ago now.
It does get easier flowers I spent a long time worrying if I'd made the right decision (was 18 and the result of a very fling with a fwb) now I have no regrets whatsoever and feel proud to have had the strength to make such a difficult decision

Mrspotatohead18 Fri 24-Mar-17 22:02:56

It does get easier. The pregnancy hormones still in your system make you CRAZY. I know I did it for the right reasons and Ive just finished the selfish bastard and I couldn't have brought a child up in such a turbulent on - off setting (I had the termination in December) and it honestly does get easier. I have pangs and a 'longing' occasionally. And sometimes have a drunken whinge. But I'm at peace with my decision and it's totally natural to go through the motions flowers

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