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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

I'm 18 and pregnant, please help!!!

(13 Posts)
Summereve186 Mon 20-Mar-17 04:45:16

So I'm 18. I'm a month and a half away from finishing my freshman year at Virginia Tech, and I just found out that I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I have big plans for my life... huge plans. None of them involved having a baby for at least the next 8-10 years. Before I got pregnant I never thought I would consider abortion for myself, but now I'm thinking about it. I still don't think I could ever do it (the thought nauseates me and makes me break out into a sob). However, I cannot have a kid right now. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for 3 months. Our relationship is okay, but I definitely didn't see him forever in my future. He's very against abortion so I haven't told him I'm thinking about it, he would be the opposite of supportive. I've been rattling my brain for 2 weeks now, trying to make a decision, but I just can't. Also adoption isn't an option.

I want a kid. I really do, but not right now. I regret choosing a name already because I feel more attached. I'm just scared that I'll get an abortion and then I'll never know the gender or the Birthday or what he/she looks like or does in life.

Please help

saffronwblue Mon 20-Mar-17 05:26:03

Summer eve what a tricky position you are in and very hard when you are so young. You are doing the right thing to take a bit of time to think about your choices and their impact. The more you think, the better you will deal with whatever you decide. Does your university offer a counselling service? That could be a good starting point. If you do decide to terminate, is it difficult to access in your state?
Here is a hand to hold.

Rainbowqueeen Mon 20-Mar-17 05:56:59

Counselling would be a great thing for you. Talk to someone who will be completely impartial
If you are worried about pressure from your boyfriend then don't tell him
You need to work out what is the right decision for you. Good luck

saffronwblue Mon 20-Mar-17 06:55:39

Are you close to your parents? Would it be helpful to talk to them, or absolutely the opposite. Whatever you decide to do must be your decision. No/one else can tell you what to do. That is a lonely place to be so think about who you trust in real life to sepport you.

Hamiltoes Mon 20-Mar-17 09:25:53

Take the time to really think about your decision, I was in the same position myself and ended up keeping the baby.

I'm 25 now and finished college, have a good job, car mortgage etc but my god my life is not easy and if I could have had her now instead I would have.

Please feel free to PM me if you want advice from someone who has been there. flowers

Kione Mon 20-Mar-17 09:30:18

So if abortion is not an option what does you boyfriend suggest?
Why is adoption not an option? To be honest, if you don't want to have a baby it's the only options you have. If you didn't see him in your future and he won't support you there is no reason to listen to him. It is your life.
Very hard decision. Wishing you strength 💐

Summereve186 Mon 20-Mar-17 16:10:05

My boyfriend would definitely support me. He's all for having a baby. I just didn't picture having a baby with him and especially at this time in my life. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world because I do want a baby, but just not sure if i can do it right now.

Kione Wed 22-Mar-17 04:02:16

The fact that you say you don't want a baby with him says a lot. Will it be a loveless relationship? You are too young to settle for something that won't make you happy.

5BlueHydrangea Wed 22-Mar-17 04:54:52

Do you have any potential family support? I had a baby at 18. Abortion not an option for me. DD's father not interested but my parents - once over the shock - were great, really supportive.
You sound as though abortion would be very difficult for you. Take your time, think about everything. Some counselling would be a good idea.
Lots of people have babies at 18 and things can work out well. My dd is now 24 and we have a very close relationship.

shineon Sat 01-Apr-17 21:25:04

Sounds like you are veering towards termination op. Its your decision completely & if you feel your boyfriend will try & steer you into having a baby you dont want best to keep it to yourself for now. You dont want the baby & you dont want the boyfriend, dont do anything you don't want to.

Persianprincess69 Sat 01-Apr-17 23:58:32

Why not adoption?

Bambambini Sun 02-Apr-17 00:07:53

Personally, i think adoption would be tougher than an early abortion. Op - you are so young and such a big decision. You will be the one left to really desl with this - the choice rests with you and what is best for you. Good luck, hope you have supportive people around you whatever you decide.

sharktoothcushion Sun 02-Apr-17 00:09:19

I had a termination at 18 for the nearly the same reasons.

It's such a personal choice, but can feel your pain. Over ten years on I have my DC that I adore, I would probably never had known him if I didn't terminate my pregnancy before though.

It's very much not an easy thing terminating a pregnancy, I think your a smart woman and will do what is right for your circumstances.

Only you can decide, regardless of your desicion, you will always feel doubt, the same way you will get a different opinion on this post xx

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