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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Advice on medical termination

(4 Posts)
user1489699274 Thu 16-Mar-17 21:34:25

Hi all, this is my first post. Could anyone advise me what to expect, I'll be having a medical termination in the next few days and I'm petrified.
This was completely unplanned as I has a mirina coil inserted and we already have three children the youngest only 11 months.
Myself and partner have made a joint decision that we cannot continue the pregnancy for a lot of reasons and I know it's the right choice but I can't help feeling awful.
Please don't pass harsh judgement I would just like some personal experiences from people who have been through the same and can tell me what to expect.
I'm around 6-7 weeks pregnant
Thank you xx

user1488971792 Sat 18-Mar-17 13:11:30

Hi I'm sending you a really really big hug, things will be ok i promise you. For me it also was completely unplanned and we had been using birth control. I made a decision that i wanted a termination. I went to the first appointment and answered some questions as to why i wanted a termination, was i completely sure etc. The lady who asked was very nice and seemed understanding. I then had to go for a scan so they could date me. However the embryo was so small they couldn't see a heartbeat so they had to send me away and then tell me to come back in a about 4 days. When i went back they could see the pregnancy clearer and i was around 5-6 weeks and said they would proceed with the abortion that day.
The lady again asked me if i was sure and gave me 4 tablets that were pessaries to put into my vagina. She then gave me a tablet and said that this tablet would end the pregnancy. That was the hardest part of the whole experience was to actually swallow that pill. Once i did she gave me a small pack which had an antibiotic and some stronger pain relief. She said to go straight home and rest in bed as it could be very painful. I went home and waited for the bleeding to start. It took around 4 hours. I was expecting the bleeding to happen straight away and at first thought it hadn't worked but it was just like a very heavy period. The pain was slightly worse then period pains. I had read all these horror stories on the internet about how painful it was and people were screaming in pain etc but it really wasnt that bad at all. The bleeding went like a normal period after a couple of days. However, about a week later the bleeding got heavy again for a couple of days and then went back to bleeding like a normal period for 2-3 weeks. Since then my periods have been slightly heavier but other then that i don't think iv had any side effects. The really awful thing in my situation was that i didnt tell my husband. We have been together 12 years and i know he would have wanted the baby. I have worked so so hard for my career and i didnt want to take more time out to look after another child and i didnt want to put a wedge between us. No-one in 'real life' knows that i have had an abortion. My parents would have never approved and i haven't got a friend i trust enough to tell so its something i had to deal with completely on my own. In reality afterwards the main feeling i had was relief, i was also upset, scared and even a bit angry but the pain wasnt that bad at all. Just rest for a day. I took the pill at midday and i was back at work the next day, i will be thinking of you flowers

user1489699274 Sat 18-Mar-17 19:46:28

Thank you so much for your reply, I went today and like you they couldn't see anything on the scan so I have to go back in 2 weeks. The ladies were really great and put me at ease so I feel a lot better about the whole situation now. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that on your own, other than my partner we aren't telling anyone as it seems too personal, thanks again for your words and reading a first hand experience has eased my mind. Xxx

user1488971792 Sun 19-Mar-17 11:02:45

The waiting is the worst part, because I couldn't think of anything else at all and all i did was keep googling things which didnt help at all as all you keep hearing are horror stories. You will probably be around the same weeks as I was when i terminated and because i was quite early in pregnancy i wasnt even aware of when i passed the pregnancy as i said it was just like a heavy period. I assume the later you are in pregnancy the more painful it will be. The ladies were really nice with me too and were supportive of my husband not knowing which felt so so awful as we have no secrets other than this in our marriage and something i have to live with and carry with me for the rest of my life. It is such a personal thing, if you have any further questions feel free to ask xx

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