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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Can't make a decision - advice needed!!

(3 Posts)
Hzyndfdd Tue 14-Mar-17 09:47:57

Hi! Not sure if this is the right place for this, but I need some advice.
So I found out two days ago that I'm pregnant - I've figured out I would be about 5 weeks, so would be due in November - and I have no idea whether or not I want to have the baby.
Background-wise... I'm 24 (will be 25 when it's due), and am in a long term relationship and living with my boyfriend. I have just started out in my career, but am finished training and know they would be supportive - my SO has a stable job but hates it. So we don't have loads of money, but we're not totally struggling either...
we also live on the other side of the country (literally!) to our families, and I know I wouldn't want to move, but while I have great friends here I'm worried it would be really difficult!
I'm also just not sure how ready we are to give up our freedom - this just feels way bigger than I ever thought it would! We definitely didn't plan this, and while I think it could bring so my happiness I'm just worried it'll be too much.
So basically, I keep changing my mind about every hour about what would be best, and whether it's hormones or shock have basically been crying constantly for the last day and a half! So could really use some thoughts or advice - has anyone else struggled with the decision, and whichever way you chose did you regret it?
Thanks!! confused

MaverickSnoopy Tue 14-Mar-17 12:11:22

My heart goes out to you. You must be feeling so lost. Try to remember that you have only just found out. I had a termination 8 years ago under similar circumstances. On paper it looked like we could manage but I knew that it would be a struggle, especially with childcare costs. I regretted it immediately but it was balanced by knowing it was the right thing for us. I think there are many women who know it's the right thing for them, although not what they really want to do. I was definitely one of those. Now however we have two children and most importantly we can give them stability and the things that they need. That being said we would have found a way had we decided to keep the baby. You have to think about what you really want without letting the "how's" worry you too much.

There is some good counselling out there and I would urge anyone to pursue it if undecided. I hope you find some peace.

user1490271758 Thu 23-Mar-17 13:17:59

I feel like I'm in the exact same situation as you sad I have absolutely no idea what to do either just completely lost!
Hope you are OK flowers

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