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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Not really sure how I feel

(6 Posts)
Purplepinksomethingrandom Sun 18-Dec-16 12:38:29

I had a medical abortion this week. It was completed on Friday on Saturday I woke up feeling extreme relief - I know I've done the right thing. I keep expecting the crushing grief or some form of sadness, they said I'd feel regret and I did after taking the first tablet and I cried, but I don't feel any sort of emotion like that now. I haven't been dwelling on it I am easily distracted from it, I'm not ashamed of what I've done although I won't be proclaiming it or telling certain people.
Am I delaying the inevitable will I start to feel pain soon? Is this normal? I have got counselling booked to deal with this but I don't even know if I need it. This was the one thing I wasn't expecting I expected to hate myself.
Can anyone offer words of wisdom?

TheDramaLlama123 Sun 18-Dec-16 18:59:56

Hi Purple I can't really offer much advice, but I had my Surgical Abortion Thursday and feel the same relief as you, In actual fact the only guilt I'm feeling is the guilt I'm not feeling guilty enough. I even think the pain hasn't been as bad as i deserve! I too know even though I was wavering with the decision and wished I hadn't had to make it, that I have made the right decision. I hope you never feel the guilt or sadness flowers

HeyRoly Sun 18-Dec-16 19:02:44

It sounds like you feel as if you're supposed to suffer for the decision you've made?

No woman who has a termination deserves to suffer, physically or mentally. If relief is all you feel, then that's proof that is was the right thing to do.

Purple and Drama Be kind to yourselves flowers

Purplepinksomethingrandom Sun 18-Dec-16 19:37:09

Drama that's exactly it, I feel guilty for not feeling more guilty and like you the pain hasn't been as bad as I feel it should be. It's been completely manageable.
Roly I do feel like I should suffer because I've heard that's what always happens. Yet I'm not I'm still sure it was the right decision although I did waver before hand.
I'm worried I'm delaying the inevitable and soon enough I won't be able to live with what I've done.

M8000 Thu 22-Dec-16 20:54:39

I had a medical abortion ten years ago. I hated having to make the decision, I actually thought I'd miscarried because I had really heavy bleeding, but I went for a scan and I was still pregnant.

I went through very similar emotions. Relief and a kind of guilt, for the people that desperately want babies, and for the fact I didn't feel worse about it.

I can honestly say I'm very glad I made the choice I did, and my fear was unfounded. I sometimes feel a little sad about it, but never had the wave of guilt and heartbreak I was so dreading. I'm new on Mumsnet because I just had a baby who is six weeks old. He's only here because my decision took me on a path where I met my husband and settled down. How could that be wrong?xxx

Purplepinksomethingrandom Fri 23-Dec-16 15:33:56

I wish I could still say I was at the point of feeling relief, I have moved very firmly into regret.
Every inch of me hurts and it gets worse every day, I'm constantly feeling guilty, I hate what I've done I feel terrible. I've been told this is irrational but it gets stronger every day, I can't ignore it. Even when I am distracted I still hurt, it's never ending.
I think the relief I felt was because I was feeling better physically, I've been told this will pass, but I don't see it happening each day it gets worse.
I hope in ten years I feel like you, it's good to hear that, but I can't see fast this fog right now.

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