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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Considering abortion due to severe spd.

(43 Posts)
AppleJac Fri 28-Oct-16 18:08:11

This pregnancy was a very much planned and wanted pregnancy.

Im 13+5 weeks. I had spd from 6 weeks with dd who is now 4 but as i had no other children to care for it was manageable. I had physio from 20 weeks which helped abit but i was still in agony. I was not pain free until dd was 8 months old.

This time i ve been seeing a chiropractor for 6 months before conceiving and he aligned all my pelvis which was out of line and sorted out my sciatica. I really thought i had solved any pain i might of had in a future pregnancy.

Spd started at 10 weeks so just over 3 weeks ago. Im now in agony on my lower right side of my pelvis with every single step i take. Im still seeing the chiropractor every 4 weeks and im doing all the exercises i should but im now crying with the pain.

I just cant go on like this. The pain is excruciating im considering ending the pregnancy

PikachuSayBoo Fri 28-Oct-16 18:15:51

I knew someone once who had spd so bad that she spent the last three months in hospital and nevertheless left the bed. Had to wee in a bed pan and had hourly morphine. She was OK pain wise while she stayed in bed and had the pain killers.

I know you think it's probably impossible with a 4yo but this person had young kids at home. So depending on your support network there are options.

Less drastically have you talked to your consultant about codeine?

ecuse Fri 28-Oct-16 18:18:52

Not sure I have any advice, but just wanted to sympathise with you really. Can't imagine how much pain you must be in to be considering terminating a planned, wanted pregnancy. Have never been in that much prolonged pain myself, so don't feel I can say what I would do in your position.

AppleJac Fri 28-Oct-16 18:21:44

I havent got a consultant.

I have no help at home. I have a husband who works long hours and complains hes too busy to even help take dd to nursery 2 days aweek (you are there and back within 15 mins)

I ask him to do anything household wise and its always yes i will but then it doesnt get done so i do it whilst in agony.

Owlytellsmesecrets Fri 28-Oct-16 18:22:49

Then you should consider your child as your only one !!!! SPD only gets worse with each pregnancy and with DC 3 I had to pull up my big girl knickers and get in with the pain in the knowledge that it will end!
Ask for codeine ... You may never poo again but it does help !!! Good luck !!!

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Fri 28-Oct-16 18:30:46

I'm on amitrypteline for pain. It's an anti depressant, but bloody fantastic against pain.

This time last year, l was considering ill health retirement through pain. This year l'm practically pain free. It's safe to take in pregnancy too.

squeezed Fri 28-Oct-16 18:33:45

You poor thing. My spd was only in the last half of the pregnancy and I can't imagine having it so early. Have you told your DH that you're having these thoughts? I only got through the HG and spd because I had the family support. He needs to do more and perhaps you could get a cleaner to help also.
I took paracetamol everyday to have the cumulative effect and also codeine, it was the only way I could get out of bed.

AppleJac Fri 28-Oct-16 18:34:41

The emoji

Thank you for that medication recommendation. Is a GP able to prescribe or just a consultant?

PikachuSayBoo Fri 28-Oct-16 18:35:22

Go and see the GP tomorrow and ask for codeine.

Have you got a midwife appt coming up? Ask her to make you a consultant appt ASAP to discuss pain relief.

Qwerdy1234 Fri 28-Oct-16 18:36:49

Can you hire some help for your eldest?

PikachuSayBoo Fri 28-Oct-16 18:36:58

Yes GP can prescribe.

However in pregnancy they will maybe only want to prescribe a short term dose as they will be worried giving you the green light to take it all pregnancy. Which is why you need a consultant appt. you can ring the hospital and ask to be put through to antenatal clinic to get an appt.

AppleJac Fri 28-Oct-16 18:37:01

No i havent told dh any of this. He knows im in alot of pain. I seem to be walking with a permenant limp due to the pain when pressure is put on my right side.

We do have a cleaner but obviously its not all the cleaning as she does 3 hours but she does a massive chunk of it.

AnotherEmma Fri 28-Oct-16 18:37:35

Ignoring the SPD for a moment, I wouldn't even have one child with a man who refused to do his share of the housework, let alone two children. And given how much pain you're in, his refusal to step up is unforgivable.

I suggest that you call in all the help you can. Get a cleaner to do the housework, get a family member or friend to help with DD, see the midwife/doctor and insist on a referral to a consultant for your SPD.

You might want to pick your battles and focus on looking after yourself at this moment but I would also consider threatening to leave the bastard (or more accurately kick him out) if he doesn't buck his fucking ideas up. But then I am feisty wink

sleepyhead Fri 28-Oct-16 18:38:00

Do you have money you can use to make things easier?

eg cleaner, Tesco delivery subscription so you can get all your shopping delivered, pay someone to fill your freezer with home cooked "ready meals" or just stock up on ready meals.

I agree you should see your gp/midwife and investigate pain relief options - please tell them that you're considering terminating your pregnancy and that the status quo is not an option.

Also have a think about what you can just shelve for the next 12 months - standards that can be lowered, things that if your dh doesn't do them will just have to remain undone, favours that can be cashed in.

But ultimately, only you know how much you can bear. Thinking of you sad and hoping you can come through this xx

carmenta Fri 28-Oct-16 18:38:39

It sounds horrible, I understand why you're thinking about a termination sad flowers

With that much pain you really need to be referred to a consultant by your midwife. Don't wait for your next appointment, can you call them and tell them that you can't continue as you are and are considering a termination? In addition to pain relief they should also be able to recommend physical supports for your pelvis.

And you really need to stop doing the household stuff. Either it doesn't get done or your husband does it, but you can cause yourself lifelong hip problems if you try to do too much while you have SPD.

I found an osteopath helped me more than chiro for hip problems in pregnancy, it's a bit more gentle and so didn't relapse as quickly after a session.

AnotherEmma Fri 28-Oct-16 18:39:18

Cross post.. OK so you already have a cleaner. But you could increase her hours, or just tell your husband to pull his weight (actually his weight and yours now that you're pregnant and in so much pain).

AppleJac Fri 28-Oct-16 18:39:40

My midwife appointment is at 16 weeks so another 2.5 weeks off.

I will definitely get some pain relief but im worried about taking regular pain relief all through pregnancy.

AnotherEmma Fri 28-Oct-16 18:41:24

Just book a doctors appointment ASAP. They will be able to advise on safety of painkillers in pregnancy and refer you to a consultant.

Don't be a martyr, you need to seek help now.

AnotherEmma Fri 28-Oct-16 18:41:57

(They will also be able to prescribe safe painkillers to take while you wait for the consultant appointment.)

AppleJac Fri 28-Oct-16 18:46:27

Is the painkillers a consultant prescribes stronger than what a GP can prescribe?

SquedgieBeckenheim Fri 28-Oct-16 18:50:39

I feel (a lot of) your pain, I also have severe SPD in second pregnancy since I was about 8 weeks, I'm now almost 20 weeks. I know you're seeing a chiropractor, have you considered acupuncture? I could barely move, then went and had acupuncture and woke up the next day almost pain free! It was a miracle. Are you having physio also? Are you using a support belt? I've got a combination of physio, support belt, acupuncture, and massage and I'm just about managing. My DH is a huge help though, he's the only support I have here.
Definitely speak to a doctor about stronger pain relief.
You need to tell your DH exactly how you feel, and make sure he steps up!

AppleJac Fri 28-Oct-16 18:55:12

I saw a physio in my first pregnancy but it was pretty useless to be honest but i have remembered alot of the tips they gave me like no pushing supermarket trolleys or hoovering etc.

No support belt.

toptoe Fri 28-Oct-16 19:00:44

You have to reduce your physical movements massively with spd and so you will simply have to stop doing certain things. If your dh doesn't step up then they just can't get done.

Movement wise you should not twist at all. You have to take little steps. Put a plastic bag on your car seat and swing both legs at same time in and out. Stop walking anywhere, even just up the road. Drive everywhere.

Walk up the stairs with the good leg first and then the bad leg can follow onto the same step and so on. Dowstairs lead with the bad leg and the good leg follows onto the same step. Or go up and down on your bottom if this doesn't work. Don't carry anything up the stairs. Throw it down if it's washing and dh refuses to help. Leave piles of washing downstairs and he'll just have to carry them up or that is where they stay.

Don't use your legs to shut anything or move anything on the floor.

Have you been shown pilates exercises for the lower back, pelvis and hips? Has a physio assessed your hips too? Mine were moving out of their sockets and the source of much of my pain, alongside the groin pelvis grinding pain.

Get the support belt too - it does help

Don't put socks or shoes on standing up.

Basically reducing movement to an absolute minimum will have a huge difference on your pain levels.

speak2me Fri 28-Oct-16 19:00:58

SPD doesn't necessarily get worse with each pregnancy, I had it from 16weeks with my first, quite severe and then with my second pregnancy i had some niggles at around 12 weeks but then nothing.
Can you see a chiropractor or Physio once a week (I managed to last about 5 days before I could feel myself become misaligned again)?
Your DH really needs to support you more though, if he isn't helping you through this pregnancy does he really want this baby?

Scrumptiousbears Fri 28-Oct-16 19:01:39

I had SPD with my first pregnancy. I used a belt that went across my pelvis and hips (not a bump support belt) and it worked quiet well for me. I was still in paid but it meant the difference between being able to walk and not. I was also had to use crutches.

It wasn't so bad with my second pregnancy although I got sciatica with that one.

No one can tell you what to do with your pregnancy. That is a purely a personal choice.

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