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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Ive had treatment to make sure Im fertile and now I dont know if I want a baby

(2 Posts)
yillt Thu 15-Sep-16 21:54:36

Hey everyone

So here's my dilemma. a few years ago I found out I had pelvic congestion syndrome, it was damaging my womb by scaring it each month when I had a period, this meant that it would be less likely a baby could attach in my womb and I was told if I didnt have a few operations I may never be able to have kids( long story short)

At the time I said yes, definitely give me the operations I really want children. So I had the operations, the treatment is over and I still have a shot at falling pregnant and now I can try for children ( still a long shot but we have the option). I thought Id be super excited and happy to start trying but suddenly, after all that, Im worried I don't want children anymore. That kids would take over my life and cause myself and my DH to focus all our attention on a child instead of each other - it might ruin our relationship and once its happened we can't go back.

Suddenly the idea of children is scary and I don't know what to do. Im 30 and he's 37 so lifestage wise, we should really try now if we're going to.

Anyone got any advice or experience like this?

Imnotmyself Wed 05-Oct-16 11:56:40

Just didn't want to leave this unanswered. I can only speak from my own situation - and everyone's situation is different. Maybe sit down with your DH and talk through the pros and cons of having a baby. Really listen to what he wants as well as what you want. I always knew that I wanted children. We started trying when I was 33 so you have a few years left to make the decision. Before I had children I had already decided I would have three. Here's where I have a word of caution. Having had two it took a few years before I felt 'ready' to try for the third. My husband did not want any more. I brow beat him into trying. As soon as I found out that I am expecting the third, I realised that all those niggling doubts I'd had since having the first were HUGE. I really don't want three. I want two. Too late now. I had no niggling doubts about having the first two. So, from my experience, if you have niggling doubts heed them. I had niggling doubts when I was around 30 and held off for a few years.. by then our financial and domestic situation was better and I really feel like I had my first two children at the right time. Wait till the niggling doubts have gone.

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