Please please don't flame me - I don't feel comfortable talking about this in real life but could do with some perspectives.
I have a 21 month old toddler, very much planned, and I went back to work to a new job when she was about a year old. It's a top 4 firm, typically high pressures and not that great with women generally. I feel like I've just found my niche, developed my networks and on promotion track for this time next year. Thought even if I didn't get it next year, it would definitely happen the year after.
DH has had multiple mental health (depression) issues over the years, meaning he's never been able to hold down a job or finish his degree. When I was pregnant, it galvanised him to get the help he needed and he's managed to get onto a good degree programme. For the first time since I've been with him, he's developing his confidence and is optimistic he'll stick with it to graduation this time next year.
Our plan was to try and conceive early next year; I'd hopefully be promoted before I had to tell the firm about the pregnancy and he would hopefully have a job to provide some financial stability after the baby was born.
And then my period was 2 weeks late, I've just taken a test and bam, 2 lines pop up. We're both in shock and I'm actually worried about how negatively he's taken it - no hint of happiness at all. We've both said we need to process it and that a termination is a possibility.
Am I crazy for thinking about it? We know we want more children and I always thought if I was pregnant in a loving, stable relationship there's no way I would even consider this. But financially we'd be badly off, with only SMP, whatever that would be, professionally it would set me back at least 2 years and I know he's worried about whether he'll be able to make it through his degree. And honestly, if he doesn't, I don't know where that leaves us because I am tired of being the sole breadwinner. All I keep thinking is 'this is not the right time'.
Sorry for the mammoth post - I guess this is me processing. Anyone been in a similar position? Any insights to share?
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Pregnant - and not sure I want to be
25 replies
SybilsLeaves · 08/07/2016 21:29
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