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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

7 weeks and so depressed

(4 Posts)
user1465292775 Tue 07-Jun-16 10:55:39

Hello, I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago and didn't really feel any emotion, my partner was so happy and straight away started making plans and building a crib. But the last week Ive been thinking more and more about how I'm not ready.
I'm 21 and don't know if I see myself and the dad being together forever and I want to be selfish and do my own things before I have a child.

I have been unbelievably sick too and can barley move let alone make it into work.

I suffer with bad anxiety as it is but this last week Ive felt so depressed everyday I cry for so long. When I see my partner I just cry.

I went for an early scan and I felt no emotion, no love or bond and this is probably one of the worst things anyone could ever say but the reason I went for a scan is because of bad pains and bleeding and in a way I hoped it was a miscarriage so I would get relief sad.

I've spoken to my partner and he's so keen to have the baby and wants me to wait to consider abortion but i literally can't wait.

Also I read messages with him and his mum and they both want me to keep it and he's saying how he dosent want to 'kill' his child.

I'm so confused and feel so alone. I feel like I can't talk to anyone because they won't understand. I have no idea what to do please help.

mellowyellow1 Tue 07-Jun-16 21:55:19

Please talk to someone, go to your doctor and they might be able to refer you for counselling. Or you can phone Marie Stopes and they can provide telephone counselling. Do you have a friend or aunt/mum you can talk to about it?

Don't make any rash decisions but do what's right for YOU and you only. You'll be a great Mum if that's what you chose, but equally if you feel now isn't the right time then there is no need to feel any guilt about that.

For what its worth I felt no bond with my baby until she was born, and the first trimester was awful, but again please speak to someone and hope you can work things out flowers

eyestotheskies Mon 13-Jun-16 16:01:11

Have you heard of antenatal depression? It can come on very quickly in pregnancy and make you feel like you describe... I'm not saying that's what you have but it might be worth looking up. There is help and treatment available. flowers sorry you're feeling like this

LucyBabs Wed 15-Jun-16 11:26:35

I agree with eyes I had antenatal depression when I was pregnant with my ds. I thought it was just normal pregnancy but I felt so depressed and just awful.

Anyway if you really are sure you don't want to be pregnant and you don't want to be parent yet, only you can make that decision. It isn't up to your partner and it's certainly nothing to do with with his mother confused

It's you that is pregnant, you that has to carry the pregnancy and you that has to give birth.

Definitely have counselling to talk through your feelings but ultimately you need to do what is right for you. If that's having an abortion then so be it. You will get through it.

Best of luck with whatever decision you make flowers

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