In January I found I was pregnant, 6 weeks. Completely unplanned, not in the right place. Myself and ex went to a clinic on a Wednesday for a discussion about choices and how to proceed. Nurse that did the scan couldn't find anything, but had +ve tests. Was told to go to another clinic that scans the following morning. We left and went to go for dinner. I started vomiting and having pain. We went to a&e where I got admitted as they suspected ectopic. Hooked up to drips/ pain killers etc. Scanned the following morning, still a PUL. However pain increased so was kept in. Started bleeding, but scan didn't show any free bleeding. Got told that I was having a tubal mc, and was rescanned after 2hrs. Was told that it was being reabsorbed through my tube where it had got 'stuck' but that didn't need an op as my body was dealing with it naturally. Lots of fainting, vomiting, and possibly the worst pain I've ever been in. Was discharged on the Monday. On Tuesday I got a phone call from the hospital checking I was ok etc and when I said I had been sick they asked me to come in again. Was given more anti sickness, kept in overnight, and discharged the following evening. I had a bit of bleeding, but about as much as a heavy period. Physically I felt ok after 2 weeks, but all a bit traumatic.
However I'm still not right. On one hand, I feel angry that the choice was taken away from me. But then, I don't feel I have the right to be angry, I was going to the clinic for a termination in the first place, so not having to go through choosing makes me feel a bit relieved. Limited people know, my closest friends do. My parents/siblings don't know. I have since changed jobs as I found returning to work immensely stressful. (It was beforehand, but it was triple-fold after being in hospital) I just feel a bit lost.