I'm unplanned pregnant after one-off contraception lapse. My bf of 1 year has freaked out: got really upset about his dad dying when he was 3, says he's never talked to anyone how he feels about his dad, how it's affected him, (making him self-conscious, depressed sometimes, hides his feelings to protect his mum, never dealt properly with grief and guilt, affected his self confidence etc) says he's not emotionally mature enough to be a father, pretty adamant I should get an abortion. Say's he's terrified to be a father in case it ends up father-less like him. I've booked for an initial abortion-assessment appointment tomorrow, I walked out on bf at the weekend saying not much point in us being together if he never wants a family so strongly, as I think I do....but don't want to 'blackmail' him into being a dad by refusing to have an abortion, especially as his main reason is that he's terrified of the child not having a dad for some reason. And I'm not 100% sure I want a child myself since we are living in such environmental climate chaos times etc. Have told him it will be hard for me to have abortion but could do it. Have told him to be in touch if he changes his mind, which he replied is highly unlikely. We did lots of talking about his dad: doesn't even know where he is buried or anything. Was hoping he was just in shock and would change his mind: but 2 weeks now since I found out and told him (am about 6/7 weeks pregnant) and he's seems pretty certain. Don;t want to hold out that he will change his mind with false hope....had thought I'd decided to have the abortion but my pesky brain is playing all kinds of tricks to try and persuade me not to do it. I'm thinking of warning him that I might not be able to go through with it as I'm worried Ill freak out when it comes to it. But equally don;t want to bring a child into the world unwanted and without support. I have good friends around me but finding myself worrying about bf now that I've walked on him just as he's opened up about his feelings. A friend is going to come with me to my appointment tomorrow so hopefully that will help. I feel like an idiot for not discussing things with him earlier! He's just so hard to talk to, very shy and closed (but kind caring and gentle sensitive guy) I tried once or twice but he closed down the conversation. I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to get pregnant without knowing whether bf would be up for it or not. Grr! It's the only time in my life I've ever had unprotected sex, got carried away cos bf is so lovely. Damn! btw I'm 33 so don't have all the time in the world if I want to be a mum, also self employed so I'd really struggle financially on my own, currently share a house w a friend can;t even afford my own place. Actually really don't want to have a child on my own. But instincts and hormones causing havoc and still fantasising that bf will call to say he's changed his mind even though I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. Oh life and it's decisions!
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Unplanned pregnant: father doesn't want a child. Abortion?
16 replies
froglife · 09/02/2016 21:02
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