So.....
I already have 3DC with my ex hubby, we are 4 week away from our divorce becoming final. we split in sep 2014, i had a brief relationship with a guy feb-april 2015, i then again got into a relationship with the smae guy sep15-jan16.....
In nov 15 we got a phone call from his ex saying she was pregnant 12-14 weeks so obv before we got together... Scan showed 9 weeks (she admitted to sleeping with a another) fair enough not his, her 12 week scan comes and shes a few weeks further than expected (15-16). however on the same day we found out i was pregnant after suffering a mc the month before... id gone on the pill in dec after our mc and caught on again.....
despite assuring me hed support me whatever my choice and telling me he didnt want his ex back, he issued me with an ultimatum 2 weeks ago.... him or the baby
apparently his ex can carry his child as shes not got kids, i on the other hand have three and im at uni. those are his reasons for him now wanting a termination..
Ive been for one app and didnt get passed the scan, im booked in again weds.
But i cant help thinking that i will hate myself if i do this, but then again i am at uni and my other three have been through so much already since me and their dad split, do they really need another change in their circumstances...........
My head and my heart ache from this literally
Pregnancy choices
Single mum to three already (ex dh) now 8 weeks pregnant............. torn
WinchWench88 · 30/01/2016 20:27
What a tough situation 
I would take his opinion out of it for the time being, do you want this baby and do you think you could cope emotionally & financially with another? Keep in mind that child maintenance would likely be very low if he is paying for another 3/4 children as they will take that into consideration.
Sounds like he is now freaking out with the situation and just wants it to go away, if he is back with the ex is she aware you are also pregnant?
Gosh so hard for you
As pp said, you have to ignore him.
Sometimes, just sometimes, we have to do what's right for us at the time. It may not be what we'd ever envisaged or believed in, but at this moment in time, it's the only or right thing to do.
Go with your gut instinct as to what's best for you and you dc.
Years ago, I had a situation similar to yours involving adoption. I live with the decision I made every day, but I know that at that time, it was exactly the right thing to do.
What a horrible situation to be in.
The guy is a total twat and, as has already been said, don't give his wishes a second thought. The only people who matter are you and your 3 DC. You have to do what's right for you. It's hard to think clearly when you're hormonal from the pregnancy and obviously this dickhead has messed with your emotions.
What support have you got? Would you have help if you kept the baby, financially, emotionally and practically?
It's a really hard decision to make, either way. BPAS or Marie Stopes can arrange for counselling for you to help you come to a decision. Good luck.
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