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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Giving my baby up for adoption?

(11 Posts)
Ellarose85 Wed 27-Jan-16 19:33:17

Basically, I'm 14 weeks pregnant which is an unplanned pregnancy. My relationship has recently ended and I have a 7 month old DS.

From the start I have never felt like I have a bond with this baby like I did with DS. I did think about abortion but I couldn't go through with it. My DS is high needs, I struggle to eat or drink during the day and I have no help around me. Financially things are very tough, I'm having to build a life from scratch as everything was either in exdps name or he paid for it.

I cannot see how I can possibly cope with another baby, emotionally and financially. I also suffered terrible PND with DS which caused me to be a pretty terrible mum to him at times.

I really feel as if this baby deserves more than I can offer.

Who would I contact to go through my options?

Lolimax Wed 27-Jan-16 19:35:10

I'm no expert but I would think that your midwife would be a good reference point. Sorry you've found yourself in this position and what a bloody awful decision to make. flowers for you

3WiseWomen Wed 27-Jan-16 19:36:10

Bump for you as I actually just don't know.

tribpot Wed 27-Jan-16 19:39:35

I think this agency might be able to advise - disclaimer: I only found them through Googling, I don't know anything about them.

So sorry you're facing such a hard set of choices, Ellarose85. I hope you can find the right path for you.

Whatdoidohelp Wed 27-Jan-16 19:48:25

Sorry your in this situation but what a wonderful thing this would be for a couple who could not have their own child. Very selfless of you. thanks

cansu Wed 27-Jan-16 19:54:44

Whilst this may well be the right thing for you, I would give yourself lots of time to make this decision. You are unexpectedly pregnant, that makes it very hard to make any decisions right now. Maybe you could get some counselling to talk it through?

tribpot Wed 27-Jan-16 19:56:49

cansu, I would doubt the OP can make any binding decisions before the baby is born but completely agree with you that she needs counselling and support to make her decision.

TweedAddict Wed 27-Jan-16 20:01:47

Your first port of call needs to be the midwife. She will set up some mental health care and talk though the options with you, no matter what it is to be. Also speak with your GP, if you do want to put baby up for adoption then social workers will be involved to make sure it is the best thing all round and to give you support.

Ellarose85 Wed 27-Jan-16 20:04:14

Thank you for all your replies.

Yes I definitely agree that I need some counselling to support me in making a decision.

I sometimes think to myself that I can do this but the reality is that I can't.

Jw35 Wed 27-Jan-16 20:29:02

You might be able to do it Ella. Give it time, giving up your baby is going to have emotional repercussions too. You might still have pnd after the birth. I'm so sorry about how you feel but you might be able to do it, lots of people do!

I'm a single mum (by choice) to a 13 month old and I'm 13 weeks pregnant. It's going to be hard with 2 under 2 but in my case I chose that.

What do you worry about most? Get some counselling a sap, so you can work out what's best for you. Remember the baby stage won't last long and when they're 4 and 5 it might actually be lovely.

If your baby is high needs you may find a brother or sister helps when they start playing together.

So much to consider, try to think positive thanks

00lauren00 Fri 29-Jan-16 05:10:37

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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