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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.


(3 Posts)
whattodo89 Thu 03-Dec-15 19:49:30

I'm going to post this in a few places because I am after as much advice as I can get. Please don't flame me, I am feeling horrendous enough as it is.

I am almost 7 weeks pregnant by a man I have known for a few months. He lives an hour away so I have only seen him at weekends so it is fair to say we are as good as strangers.That said he has been very supportive, would support my choice whatever I decided.

I have been undecided until now. I want an abortion. HOWEVER... I have a 7 year old who overheard a conversation between my friend and I. He realised I was pregnant and is now completely over the moon.

I kept telling him it's not a baby it's a seed but his mind is set, he's constantly rubbing my tummy, talking about 'our angel', wanting to know how the be the best big brother etc. He has wanted a sibling desperately for years. He is amazing with babies and incredibly loving towards them. He told me this morning finding out about the 'seed' is the best thing that has ever happened to him. He keeps asking how many days until it's born and going into details about what he'll do with it.

With that in mind, I don't know if I can do it. The guilt in terms of my little boy would be over-whelming. He is so very sensitive and still cries regularly over his pet who died 2 years ago.

Now I know it sounds mad to consider keeping a baby for the sake of not upsetting my son, but I honestly feel like it would be incredibly traumatic for him to believe I lost the baby or the seed did not grow.

Please please help and please don't flame. I hate myself for not being more careful about my son hearing. What a mess.

GeorgiaT2468 Fri 04-Dec-15 08:59:10

Sometimes it's not easy for children not to over hear conversations. But they do hear more than we realise.

I do think it would be traumatic for him of course bless him. Hard situation.

I think you need to work out the reasons you want an abortion? Is it purely because you and the fella live apart and bearly know each other? Or is there more?

If that's the only reason then it's not something you can't work on? Like make arrangements to see each other, discuss things, plan and build more of a connection between you all?

You can both still be parents to a child regardless of an hour distance between you.

Iv never experienced an abortion but I'm sure that would be your extreme last option??


PennyHasNoSurname Fri 04-Dec-15 09:05:38

Firstly you need to try and shelve DSs feelings whilst you decide whether and why you want an abortion.

Once decided, then figure out how to speak to DS. Not all pregnancies make the magic 12 week mark so there is always even a tiny possibility that he will get bad news at some point.

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