I found out yesterday that I'm pg, probably about 4 weeks in. I have 3 dcs, the youngest is 20 months. This is an unplanned pg, condom failure (I cannot use the pill, mirena coil or implant as I grow ectropians, and I had a copper coil but it migrated and I had to have it surgically removed under GA). My dh is absolutely dead set against it. I do not want 4 kids and feel my body (at 38) would not cope that well - having had 3 dc already in 6 years. My last delivery was at home in just 2 hours and I never ever want to give birth again. That said, I cannot believe I can proceed with an abortion...I have first mtg with GP tomorrow for referral. He thinks I'll have to have a medical abortion which by all accounts sounds fucking painful and harrowing. I feel such sadness about taking a life away when I know we create beautiful gorgeous children. My DC would never forgive me if they knew I had aborted their brother or sister. I go from feeling calm and prepared for an abortion, to feeling like I can't go through with it and I'd put up with the burden of a pg and the cost of a 4th child. I am so tangled. I don't know what I'm asking you to help me with. I am a complete nob.
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