I have a nearly 3 ds. hated being pregnant, terrible birth and then pnd. love my little boy, lots of fun now but knackering. we hadnt decided on a 2nd and was beginning to enjoy life returning to normal.
now found out i am 5 wks pregnant. had a mc last year at 6 weeks. not sure what to do - cant face an abortion but cant help but think a 2nd child will break me.
I think if you're sure you can't face an abortion then there's no decision to make. Unless you consider adoption but that wouldn't solve the issues you face.
Do you have good support irl?
Have you spoken to a counsellor about your previous birth experience? You know there's nothing to say that another birth would be the same? And if you are still fearful after talking it through there's always the option for elcs. I know that's not an 'easy' option but it may help alleviate you anxiety about birth. I believe recovery times are quicker with an elcs as opposed to emcs. It may help with pnd too if that was related to birth trauma. Again, talk to someone about the pnd and your worries that it will return.
How did you feel when you miscarried last year? Had you felt happy about that pg?