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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

AF late, broke, broody - test tomorrow

(11 Posts)
lovelylemonskins Fri 07-Aug-15 17:39:41

Sorry this is so long...
I've been married to an amazing man for over 3 years, we're both super broody (me in a very immediate sense, he sees it slightly more in the abstract; go figure, he's 23, I'm 29.)
Totally certainly not ttc anytime soon as
- he's building a business he's passionate about which is kind of his baby...takes up all his time and energy
- I'm trying to find more reliable, fulfilling, lucrative work
- We just signed a 2 year lease on a place we can only just afford (we flatshare with my lovely cousin)
- Loads of debt
- I'm about to start psychotherapy for depression and anxiety

So, AF is now over 2 weeks late, I have early pregnancy symptoms but have just gone back on the minipill so hormonal madness isn't too surprising.
Spoke with DH who only really talked about how shit the timing would be and reluctantly admitted he'd prefer a termination if I get a BFP.
I'm desperate for a child but there's no way it could work and I feel either choice is unfair and life-ruining for one or other of us.
He's away working for the weekend, POAS tomorrow.
Trying to think of it as a late period I might need to "help along" with pills from the Dr. but am so scared of not being able to sack-up and do it if it's a BFP.
Any advice?

thisisnow Fri 07-Aug-15 17:50:17

No advice really apart from do a test and if you do find out it's positive then go from there. Try and remember what your gut feeling is when you find out and it may give some indication as to how you feel? Good luck flowers

lovelylemonskins Fri 07-Aug-15 18:27:20

Thanks thisisnow...gut feeling is pretty strongly in favour of keeping (if there's anything to keep) and therein lies the problem. Rational-educated-brain-feeling isn't a fan of gut-feeling at all sad

thisisnow Fri 07-Aug-15 18:48:14

Well remember it's your decision no-one else's. I know that doesn't help much. People do cope with unplanned pregnancies, but likewise you have every right to not want a baby if you feel it's not right for you...

Stroopwaffel Fri 07-Aug-15 18:59:42

Don't have an abortion for anyone else. It needs to be your choice... women who are pressured (even if not explicitly) or go through with it as 'the right thing to do' in the circumstances are the ones who struggle afterwards. I speak from bitter experience sadly..

Can see that your circumstances are not ideal, but they're not terrible either, and you could make it work if you do want a baby.. I am totally pro choice btw but only when it is a true choice made by the woman in question..

But first POAS...!

lovelylemonskins Fri 07-Aug-15 21:07:29

Really not enjoying the waiting, been told Sunday is best to POAS so I'll do it first thing but DH and cousin/housemate both away till sun night. Without the distraction of company it's gonna be a LOOONG weekend.
Thanks for the advice btw, you're all being so kind and kindness is the best x

thisisnow Fri 07-Aug-15 22:22:59

If you're 2 weeks late you can test tomorrow or as soon as! Good luck flowers

AnxiousAggie Sun 09-Aug-15 07:48:35

Poas op, and don't worry about it until you get a positive.

My advice to anyone who says they're 'desperate to have a baby' would be to not terminate. You really don't sound like you want a termination. A badly-timed pregnancy can work out well if you want it to thanks

MyPelvicFloorTrainsItself Sun 09-Aug-15 07:52:07

POAS quickly so you'll know one way or another.

lovelylemonskins Sun 09-Aug-15 08:51:22

The nurse I saw (unrelated issue) said not to POAS till Sunday because of dates of pill/sex/cycle. Did it this morn, BFN. I'm trying to feel relieved rather than sad.
Thank you all for your support, hopefully I'll be back one day in Pregnancy not Pregnancy Choices flowers

Stroopwaffel Mon 10-Aug-15 09:46:08

Sorry you feel sad at the result but at least you can wait until circumstances are better to start ttc now.

All the best OP x

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