Advanced search

This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

In limbo

(24 Posts)
MummyPig24 Wed 29-Jul-15 07:44:44

I found out on Friday that I am pregnant. This is not a wanted pregnancy and I took the morning after pill a few weeks ago to prevent this from happening. I have an appointment at BPAS on Monday for a consultation.

If I decide to have a medical abortion will they give me the pills there and then? On the website it says I can take the tablets together.

I know I shouldn't be but I am scared. I should take responsibility for what's happened and get on with it but I am terrified of going through the pain and bleeding. I've been dreaming about it. I have 3 children already so I don't want them to see me in pain.

I don't know what I'm asking really, maybe for some experiences of abortion, especially from those who have children already?

Thurlow Wed 29-Jul-15 11:47:27

I'm sorry the MAP didn't work for you sad

I had a medical abortion at about 6 weeks. I went to the GP and was referred to Marie Stopes. I then called them and had a telephone appointment. They offered me a face-to-face counselling appointment which I didn't take up as I was very confident in my decision. They we took a while to find the quickest appointment, which was only a few days later but I did have to travel for it. I had my first appointment at 10, had a scan (which you don't see) just to confirm the pregnancy and date, and then took the first pills, which terminate the pregnancy. Then I went back 6 hours later and took the second pills, which start the bleeding.

I didn't start bleeding for another 4-5 hours. The bleeding was very heavy but it wasn't overwhelming, if that makes any sense. The first night I did wake once to change the pad, but had plenty of towels in bed so I felt reassured I wouldn't make too much of a mess. The next few days it was just like a heavy period, with period cramps - certainly nothing that I couldn't cope with.

In fact, the worse thing for me was the very large dose of antibiotics you have to take, which made me feel very rough. But I'm sure not everyone reacts to antib's in the same way.

Overall it wasn't pleasant, physically, but neither was it horrific. DD watched a lot of CBeeebies but hey, it was only for a short period, it was hardly the end of the world. It was nothing that I couldn't hide from her, nothing more than 'mum's feeling a bit poorly'.

I have one DD, she was about 20 months at the time, which was the main reason I made that decision (I had HG and wanted to leave a much bigger gap before going through pregnancy again). I promise you you certainly aren't the only woman who will make this decision; I can't remember the figures, but I'm sure that a huge majority of women who have abortions are already mothers. You are thinking about the family you already have and that is a good thing.

MummyPig24 Wed 29-Jul-15 20:49:59

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I've had a busy day and I kind of forgot all about what's happening until this evening. I just want it all over and done with.

Luckily my dh is around next week (he works abroad every other week) and is taking Monday off so hopefully I can get it all done and dusted on Monday and take it easy on Tuesday. Get some snacks in and have a duvet day with the little ones.

They are 7, 5 and 16 months and I just adore them but I absolutely do not want, and cannot have, any more children. I can't believe this has happened.

TheLastPickleInTheJar Fri 31-Jul-15 07:50:40

thanks mummypig sad Sorry you're in this situation. It's great that your husband can be around for you. And snacks and duvet days sound great.

Isn't it amazing the difference in feeling that a positive pregnant pregnancy test gives us when it's unwanted? All those times of willing a line to appear and being so excited. I felt sick to my stomach when i saw the line on my unplanned pg. Such different emotions. None of us ever expected to be on that position. I certainly didn't. It must have been such a shock for you.

I remember that feeling of forgetting about it for a while then being hit with the realisation of it too.

It sounds like you're in a good supportive situation which is great.

Best wishes thanks thanks

TheLastPickleInTheJar Fri 31-Jul-15 07:55:35

I meant to say I had a lot of bleeding (literally couldn't leave the house because of if one day) but not one bit of pain which was surprising after everything i'd read. Try not to be scared. If you do have pain you can control it with medication.

Snacks, takeaways, dvds. The kids will enjoy it and you'll be able to rest up. smile

MummyPig24 Fri 31-Jul-15 08:43:53

Thank you for the kind words. You're right about the difference in feeling when you see a positive test. Baby 1 was a surprise but I was ok with it, 2 and 3 planned and so wanted to be pregnant. This time I was willing it to be negative even though I knew for sure I was pregnant. The symptoms were so horribly familiar.

MummyPig24 Mon 03-Aug-15 13:43:09

I had my consultation this morning and the pregnancy was dated at 7 weeks 5 days. They wouldn't give me the pills there and then as they need a dr signature so I need to go back at 4.30. I'm scared.

dirtyfabulous Mon 03-Aug-15 13:47:14

I have no advice for you mummypig but can sympathize. I'm also about 7 weeks I think & have surgical booked later this week.
I understand the fear completely. I will be thinking of you this afternoon.

Thurlow Mon 03-Aug-15 14:23:24

Thinking of you this afternoon. It's scary, I know, but it will be ok x

TheLastPickleInTheJar Mon 03-Aug-15 17:03:24

Also thinking of you mummypig (and you, dirtyfabulous). I hope it went okay. It is scary, but you will get through it. thanks

MummyPig24 Mon 03-Aug-15 17:30:23

I will be thinking of you dirty.

I've taken all the tablets. Had to fight down the urge to vomit on the way home, sweating and everything. I really didn't want to vomit as it meant the first pill wouldn't work. I'm home now. The nurse gave me an anti sickness tablet which I was grateful for as vomiting is my worst phobia. I've already had diarrhoea (sorry tmi) and have some niggly period pains in my stomach. I'm so hoping that it all happens fairly quickly and not too painfully. I've taken 2 codeine in preparation.

TheLastPickleInTheJar Mon 03-Aug-15 20:00:05

I hope it happens quickly for you and without too much discomfort.

Look after yourself over the next few days. Don't plan on doing too much if you can help it thanks

dirtyfabulous Mon 03-Aug-15 22:03:47

How are you now mummypig?

MummyPig24 Tue 04-Aug-15 00:06:25

I woke up about 40 minutes ago feeling a bit of discomfort, went to fhe toilet and passed some blood and clots. I've just had to change the pad. Not feeling too bad, just a little woozy. I Took 2 codeine 30 mins ago. It feels like period pains at the moment.

MummyPig24 Tue 04-Aug-15 03:33:34

Very heavy bleeding but pain very manageable at the moment. Will it suddenly get worse? Dh needs to go to work at 7. If the pregnancy hasn't passed by then am I in for a world of pain? Not sure I can handle it while looking after dcs. Also, can I have a bath?

dirtyfabulous Tue 04-Aug-15 07:55:21

Oh mummypig I hope you will be OK today. Is your dh gone to work now? I have small dc myself so I hope for your sake the worst is over now.

I know I read no baths for a couple of weeks I think but showers ok. Maybe someone else can advise about this also though.
Put the TV on, easy meals, maybe a takeaway today.. Whatever it takes to get through today.

TheLastPickleInTheJar Tue 04-Aug-15 09:00:12

It's so hard to say. I never had pain but i did have an awful lot of bleeding. When will Dh be back? How are things so far?

horsewalksintoabar Tue 04-Aug-15 09:20:18

Oh poor you. :-( God how awful. I had one at 15 weeks about 4 years ago. It was a very much wanted baby but DH and I pass on a genetic disorder and this little one's amnio results showed that she had it.
It's like a very heavy period. I think the psychology of it makes the whole things worse. But it was not as dreadfully uncomfortable as I had feared. Just sad because you know it's not just an incredibly heavy period. I had two other kids at home so, like you, I had to get through it without them really being aware. I found the months afterward very hard because I bled for a long time and then my periods went a bit nutso for about 8 months. So I was constantly reminded as to why my body was out of whack. I rang Marie Stopes for support and they were awesome. It's a bit of a soul destroying process in the short term, but you will heal. Be very good to yourself. And just as a warning, most lovely, wonderful, caring DHs are kind of crap when it comes to this stuff. They do tend to see it as 'just a heavy period'. So if your DH is cut from the 'typical bloke' cloth, try not to take it too much on board. Your hormones will be a bit funky for a few days/weeks as your body adjusts, so take care. You might find yourself a bit emotional, grumpy, short-fused and knackered from the blood loss. Get help with the kids. Slow down a bit and just take your mind of things. You might want to take some ferrous sulfate. Eat well. Have a glass of wine. Just be nice to YOU. flowers

Thurlow Tue 04-Aug-15 09:40:19

I don't remember having much pain, just the heavy bleeding.

It's only for a day or so. Put the telly on all day if you want to, order in a pizza for the kids, do whatever you need so you get to lie on the sofa and rest as much as you can x

MummyPig24 Tue 04-Aug-15 10:21:21

I'm sorry to hear that horse.

Dh has been wonderful, he was abroad for work all last week and I've felt so ill he really took over this weekend and did everything.

I'm still bleeding but it's slowed down a lot with much smaller clots. I was prepared for awful pain and I think that's why I can't quite believe it's all over. I'm tired as I did wake a lot in the night but I feel so much like my old self. I've been so ill and down I haven't had the energy to do anything. I'm praying that this has worked.

dirtyfabulous Tue 04-Aug-15 19:58:42

How was the day mummypig?

MummyPig24 Tue 04-Aug-15 20:32:17

It was fine thanks dirty. I've felt so much better, no nausea or sensitive smell or bad taste in my mouth. I'm tired as I had a restless night and early morning and lost a lot of blood but I haven't had the all-consuming exhaustion I was getting. It seems it has worked. I'm so relieved, it really was such an easy experience in the physical sense. Emotionally, it's been tough and it will take a while to get over it all.

dirtyfabulous Tue 04-Aug-15 20:44:54

I'm glad to hear you're feeling physically ok. Hopefully you'll get a good nights sleep tonight, and continue to take it easy for the next while.
You sound so relieved. It is so good that you can now begin to put things behind you and move on.

MummyPig24 Wed 05-Aug-15 12:19:41

I slept ok, took dcs to the park this morning and I'm feeling tired now. I'm glad this is all behind me now. Thank you everyone for the support.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now