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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

I've been so stupid

(4 Posts)
Confuseddotcom10 Wed 22-Jul-15 23:53:19

I've been with my dp for a couple of years and already have a dc from previous ex. I'm now 6 weeks pg and feel like a fool. We have been here twice b4 ending in a mc and a termination. We do not live together as dp has not been in stable work during our time together and not seeming to pursue it with any gust so I have been reluctant to carry him through his periods of what I feel are then chosen periods of unemployment.
I made the decision last pg to terminate as again he had lost his job and I didn't feel that I was in a position to manage everything and potentially be a single parent again. During the short pg he was unsupportive leaving me feeling very vulnerable. I ended the relationship, we had been through so much and I was exhausted of the emotional roller coaster that he put me through with one thing or another. Fast forward 6 months and he has gotten back into life and we decided to try again hence no pg.
at first I was excited but have woken up today feeling like a fool, our relationship has little prospects of moving out of the "stuck" position it's been in the past couple of years and already he has become distant again.
I've always wanted a second child so much and this would be a last chance at 40+ but I also know how I struggled with dc alone for years and can't do that again. I feel a fool for having to consider another termination and also scared that i cannot get out of this difficult relationship.
I know no one can tell me the answer guess I'm just looking for some support.

Confuseddotcom10 Thu 23-Jul-15 00:01:41

Also I have just been offered a job with a v good prof position after such a long wait ... And lastly I was slightly alarmed a reading a post on another board about cocklodgers and wondered why some of the traits fit with dp

Oliversmumsarmy Thu 23-Jul-15 00:09:32

if you are 40+ then if you want another child then you are highly unlikely to get pregnant again. How will you feel in 5/10 years time when you cannot have another child. Will you look back with regret if you have a termination.

If you can carry a dead weight through periods of self imposed unemployment then you certainly can keep a small baby.

I suppose you have to ask yourself if being a single parent to 2 dc is going to be easier than being a lone parent in a couple who single handedly has to bring up 2 DC with a dead weight hanging round your neck. IYSWIM

MummyPiggy87 Tue 28-Jul-15 12:36:26

Ok dp could be a cocklodger, okay you may lose that new position at work. Are you willing to carry on in life without them things?
Or would you rather continue on with life without a child and keep them things? And as it's been said before, I'm sorry to put a negative spin on here, but if your 40+ your high risk for a miscarriage anyway, just think about the bigger picture and what you want with yours and dc's life.

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