I am 4 weeks pregnant (i think). I already have a 3 year old DS and a 10 month old DS. I don't think I can continue with the pregnancy. it's too soon after DS2. I'm worried about the impact on the DSes, the financial implications, the practicality. I want to go back to uni full time. I'm going back part time in January.
Dp thinks we could make it work, financially and practically. But his biggest worries are the impact on the boys and on me. I've only recently returned to an even keel after suffering PND with DS2. What if I suffer again? He's supportive but he thinks it's the wrong time for number 3. I agree with him, even though we had said 3 was our limit. I had always wanted 3. But not so soon.
On top of all this I live in Northern Ireland. Where I either pay a ridiculous amount to terminate, which we can ill afford, or go through with the pregnancy. I alternate between being resigned, guilty, upset and furious. I'm terrified of going to the only clinic in NI and having to run the gamut of protestors.
I know what we should do. I need to be pragmatic and consider my boys. But I hate myself for having to make this decision. I hate that this choice is made harder because of where I live.
The most striking thing you have written is i know what we should do that is the hardest part done, if you are sure in your mind and comfortable with your decision then everything else csn be sorted. I am so sorry being in NI makes a horrible situation even harder but if you know this pregnsncy is not right for you and your family then you will find the money and I hope you will be happy snd able to enjoy the family you have. Good luck