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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

It's been a year since my termination.

(4 Posts)
PeachOwl Tue 11-Nov-14 11:11:17

I had a medical termination this time last year. I thought I'd be devastated (i got quite upset around what would have been my due date) but I'm ok. Sad that I couldn't continue the pregnancy and wistful for another child and normal pregnancy (i terminated due to hg - one of the worst cases the consultant looking after me in hospital had seen in her 20 plus years in women's health!) but I'm ok.

I am so glad this section exists. My dh and a couple of close friends have been amazing. My family have been not so. They were very supportive before and I felt massive disapproval for considering continuing the pregnancy but since the termination I've had a few unkind comments and they haven't spoken of it since. Mumsnet has been a real outside support and talking to other women who've faced this has helped so much. I felt so unnatural and useless when I decided on a termination but now I can see I had 2 hard, almost impossible choices to make.

Sorry this is rather waffly. I just felt the need to thank everyone here who has offered support and offer hope to anyone who has been or is going through it: it does get better and the further I get from the termination the more I can see it was my only realistic choice. I'm sad I had to make it but so so grateful that I could. The alternative would be that I tried to continue the pregnancy and lost the baby anyway (very real possibility for me) or I died due to dehydration (a real possibility even in hospital on every drug going which still couldn't stop the vommiting). I'm lucky I'm here, I'm lucky I already have 2dc and I will always keep the baby I couldn't keep in my heart.

beachysandy75 Tue 11-Nov-14 13:21:30

Thinking of you today. You always write such lovely and supportive comments to people of on here so thank you. Pleased that you are at peace with your decision. x

Thurlow Tue 11-Nov-14 17:12:53

That's so good to hear, peachowl. Yes, you had to chose between two insanely difficult choices. It is it horrible to be placed in that situation, and sometimes it feels completely lose/lose.

flowers for you today.

PeachOwl Wed 12-Nov-14 06:16:44

Thank you both. It was hard and definitely lose/lose Thurlow. I don'tthink i'll ever feel the relief that other people have but I do have peace and most importantly I don't feel guilt or anger or resentment now. The support I've had (my dh, close friends, Mumsnet and counseling) has been so important and I think having the space and time to work through the grief, guilt and letting go of the possiblility of another pregnancy has been vital and I hope every woman facing a termination is as supported as I have been.

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