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This topic is for personal experiences or dilemmas; to debate the ethics of termination, please go here or here.

Please someone help me :-(

(75 Posts)
Halleberry Thu 25-Sep-14 01:10:07

Does anyone know anything about the accuracy of clear blue digital? I'm absolutely terrified at the moment. My husband and I have had a rough year due to a major family
Incident. We have seperated,got back,separated,so on and so forth. My husband and I had a "dinner date" to try and work things out. We slept together that night (the 25th August)....And the following morning and for 3 days in a row after. Then we had a massive row resulting in another break up. We stayed apart a few weeks. On the 7th of September I stupidly had sex with my very best friend. To much wine and tears and one thing led to another. 1 week later I didn't feel right and was tempted to take a test. I did so, and what do you know..... The test said I was 2-3 weeks pregnant. My husband and I are back together and having couples coincilling. I am
Now terrified that this baby could be my best friends (this would ruins relationship with my
Husband who I do love dearly) and we have tried so long to have a baby :-( I'm so happy but also not at the same time. What are the chances of a clear blue saying 2-3 weeks pregnant only 1 week after conception?? As i said, when I slept with my best friend it was Sunday the 7th September. I took a test exactly 1 week later and it said 2-3 weeks pregnant. Is it more likely to be my husbands?! Please help as I'm considering a termination over this even though this child has been long wanted by both my husband and I.
Thanks for listening

EmbarrassedPossessed Thu 25-Sep-14 01:38:23

Just from your dates it seems much more likely to be your husbands. One week would be very unlikely to show as 2-3 weeks pregnant.

When I used a clear blue digital (2 plus years ago now), it showed 2-3 weeks, which was bang on what I was expecting.

plinkyplonks Thu 25-Sep-14 01:43:47

When was the first day of your last period? How long are your cycles usually?

ShowMeShowMeTheWine Thu 25-Sep-14 01:57:53

I'd be shocked if you got a positive just 7 days after sex.
Regardless of the 2-3 week result I'd say it's your husbands simply because you got a positive result.

PeachOwl Thu 25-Sep-14 06:40:44

I thought it based how pregnant it says you are on the amount of hormones in your urine and works from conception as 1-2 weeks pregnant by the midwife's calculation would be before you even conceived so 1-2 weeks must be roughly when you fell pregnant?
I wouldn't make any decisions based on one though: I used one to test my second pregnancy and got 2-3 weeks although it was 10 days after when i ovulated (according to my temp) and the midwife put me at 4 weeks I think. I basically got a positive as early as you could but got the latest 'result' with the clear blue.

Halleberry Thu 25-Sep-14 07:13:06

Thanks all. I'm so lost with all this. Peach owl I didn't quite understand what your reply was? Does that mean that 7 days after conception it's very highly likely to come up as 2-3 weeks? I've had problems with my period ever since I had the implant in. My periods have been ALL over the place. I can honestly say I never knew when my period was due so it was hard to keep track/dates! I'm am so scared by all this. How accurate are the scans?
Will that be able to ease my mind a little? I DO NOT want to terminate but I see no option if there's a chance this is by my husbands :-( best friends or not, he is an always has been very much "wherever I lay my hat" sort of guy and that's never affected me as we were just mates. He would run a mile if it were his. And so would my husband if it were my best Mates. I simply cannot cope with baby on my own. I couldn't do it without my husband :-( I'm so keen to know others experience with the accuracy of actual scans at hospital and if they can tell you a really good estimate of conception?? Thank you all again x

Halleberry Thu 25-Sep-14 07:36:55

*Using two separate testing strips, the Weeks Estimator estimates weeks since ovulation (1-2 weeks, 2-3 weeks, 3+ weeks)*
This was on clear blue site :-( so it looks like I could have easily
Only been 7 days pregnant?????? I feel sick :-( x

PeachOwl Thu 25-Sep-14 07:44:07

Sorry I meant I think it's unlikely to show 2-3 weeks pregnant 7 days after conception but I found it inaccurate so I wouldn't advise basing your decision on it. Scans vary too, mine agreed with when I thought I conceived but I know other people have found otherwise. I think that's because sperm can survive for several days, you might not ovulate exactly when you thought and implantation can vary in how long it takes.

I think the best advice is to talk to your husband and see how you can move forward. The only sure way to know is a DNA test. flowers

NewJobNewLife Thu 25-Sep-14 07:44:45

The 12 week scan is quite accurate at dating, but earlier ones are not so accurate. 12 weeks is chosen for this reason.

12 weeks is late to start thinking about termination though.

There is some information about paternity testing during pregnancy here - www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/what-is-a-prenatal-paternity-test.aspx?CategoryID=61&SubCategoryID=615

Perhaps talking to a midwife yould help?

bakingtins Thu 25-Sep-14 07:50:53

Pregnancy is dated from your last period, not from ovulation, so if you are 4 weeks pregnant you actually had sex and conceived only 2 weeks ago. The earliest you are likely to get a positive on any type of pregnancy test is 10-14 days after ovulating. confusingly, the CB tests give you weeks post ov, so "2-3 weeks" means 2-3 weeks after you conceived, when you would be classed by your midwife/ doctor as 4-5 weeks pregnant. Scans later on would be more accurate but will date you from your last period.
I'd say you got a positive far too soon after sex with the OM for it to be his, but the cb dates tie in with you sleeping with your DH. Hope it works out for you.

Halleberry Thu 25-Sep-14 07:54:08

I will make an app with midwife today. I definitely can't tell my husband. After 10 years together and alot of ups as downs we are finally getting on track. If I told him, that would be us over. Even if child is his. He would stand by the child but not me :-( and I couldn't do it alone :-( i read the pregnancy paternity test you have to have possible fathers permission :-( I am devastated and feel so stupid. This was my fresh start and I've wet and messed it up like I do everything :-( it would be just my luck to say 2-3 weeks after only 7 days. Depending on what midwife says I may have no choice but to terminate :-( x

plinkyplonks Thu 25-Sep-14 07:56:29

First thing to remember is that pregnancy from NHS POV is counted from the first day of your last period.. but Clearblue digital counts it from the day of conception. So, for me I got a 2-3 week pregnant result on the day my period was due. It is really unlikely to get a 2-3 week result one week after conception. In fact, most pregnancy tests cannot accurately detect pregnancy until at least 4-5 days before your period is due.

From the Clearblue website:

@So Accurate... Tells you How Many Weeks It's like 2 tests in 1 - it first detects if the pregnancy hormone is present with over 99% accuracy from the day your period is due, and if you are pregnant, it ALSO indicates how many weeks since conception occurred 1-2, 2-3 or more than 3 weeks (3+). The Conception Indicator is 92% accurate in detecting when you conceived. - See more at: uk.clearblue.com/clearblue-pregnancy-tests-range/clearblue-digital-pregnancy-test-with-conception-indicator#sthash.YLbx77oM.dpuf@

So the test is indicating you conceived 2-3 weeks ago (when you had sex with your husband) and they claim this indicator is 92% accurate.

If you are very concerned, you could pay for a private early dating scan which could put your mind at ease.

dragonflyinthelillies Thu 25-Sep-14 07:57:02

It is possible in theory to have got a positive 7 days after conception but fairly unlikely and it would mean the egg must have been fertilised immediately.

The clear blue digital tests are fairly accurate but not very sensitive and notorious for not picking up a positive till a good few days later than other brands of tests.

Given this I would say it was pretty unlikely (although definitely not impossible) that the baby was not your husbands.

Although if you find out your having twins in could give higher readings earlier.

I had two early scans due to bleeding and although the dates weren't totally accurate they were only out by a few days both times. It might give you a much better idea.

Fingers crossed you get the result you want

Wisteria1979 Thu 25-Sep-14 07:57:14

Firstly, so sorry about the situation you have found yourself in, it must feel devastating.
Pregnancy is counted based on period cycles etc and so not from date of conception. I would suggest going to talk to GP or midwife, with dates of likely conception, dates of last period, usual cycles etc and they may be able to advise which is the most likely. However, like peach says, the only way to know for sure is a DNA test unfortunately. Best of luck with however you chose to take this forward.

InternetFOREVER Thu 25-Sep-14 07:59:45

In my experience you'd be extremely unlikely to show any kind of positive 7 days post conception... your dates match up with when you had sex with your husband, so its vastly more probable that it's his.
Best of luck flowers

plinkyplonks Thu 25-Sep-14 08:01:50

Btw, two weeks makes a BIG difference in baby development. Would suggest you check out some scan pictures online, some dating scans might be out by days (mine was out by 1 day) - but very, very unlikely to be out by weeks.

TortoiseUpATreeAgain Thu 25-Sep-14 08:04:45

It's almost impossible that you'd get a 2-3 week result on a digital test 7 days after conception. You'd be very very unlikely even to get a 1-2 week result after 7 days, and a 2-3 week result? Scarcely a chance.

I'd say there's a higher than 95% chance that the baby is your husband's.

SweetsForMySweet Thu 25-Sep-14 08:20:52

You should add 2 weeks to what it says on cb test so that would make you 4-5 weeks pregnant. If you don't have a date of your lmp, the measurements of the baby on the scan is usually quite accurate. Either your dates when dtd add up or (and this is fairly unlikely) such a high reading after dtd 7 days ago could be a multiple pregnancy. Based on what you have said so far I would think it is your Husbands. You do need to start taking folic acid asap, if you are not doing it already.

Halleberry Thu 25-Sep-14 08:24:21

Thank you all for your kind words and not judging me. I was so worried I'd be jumped on because of what I done (sleeping with best friend) but my circumstances with my husband were so messed up and so were we both that it clouded my judgment for one night. I was very silly and careless and I will forever regret it. I've also ruined my friendship as my best friend (also close
With my husband btw) is a keeping me at arms length now. We have been friends since we were 4 years old so it's a very sad time. I truly hope the scan can give me an accurate. This will (or could be) my first long wanted child. I feel I have messed everything up. I can't go by my period or dates. My periods have always been very irregular. Some
Months I never even had a period. So I was never keeping track. I took the test not because my period was late (i never knew when or if it would even come this month) but simply because I started to feel different. Very emotional, very sqeamish and sickly (and I'm never like that) .... That's why I bought the test. So I can't even tell the doctor when my
Last period was or dates except for I know I bled for a few days at some point approx a month ago. That's as much as I can say :-( heartbroken does not cut it as I can never tell my husband about this x thank you all for being so kind x

plinkyplonks Thu 25-Sep-14 08:28:23

Halleberry Try not to be so harsh on yourself. Majority of indicators strongly point to this being your husband's baby. Best of luck with the scan! Then just allow yourself to enjoy your pregnancy and repair your relationship with your husband smile :D

stateoftheart Thu 25-Sep-14 08:58:34

I would also say it is highly unlikely to be OM.

92% accurate that you conceived 2-3 weeks ago.

After 7 days the result on a normal test would be negative or very very light.

Do a cheapy strip test and see how quickly and dark the line comes up. Should help put your might at ease.

Halleberry Thu 25-Sep-14 09:04:12

I done two cheap tests aswell. The first was light (but then there was only a tiny bit of urine) I then drank gallons of water an done the second cheap test with lots of urine. It was much clearer. Then I bought the digital one and it came up pregnant then 2-3 weeks x I pray with all my heart this is my husbands. I cannot relax for a second am things have been going so well for us :-( x

TrisisFour Thu 25-Sep-14 09:25:04

Very unlikely (dare I be brave enough to say impossible) to be the OMs. Especially, from your last post, you had got BFPs on the two cheap tests aswell, NO WAY that they would have picked up a pregnancy only 7 days after conception.

Do not worry. It's your DH's baby.

Good luck with your PG. thanks

HopefulHamster Thu 25-Sep-14 09:39:16

I have spent way too long in my life taking pregnancy tests. Even on a positive fertility cycle when I know to the hour when I conceived, I have not been able to get a positive until 9 days after fertilisation. I think it's very very very unlikely to get any kind of positive 7 days after, never mind one that says 2-3 weeks.

You are almost certainly (agree with 95% or more) having your DH's baby.

AllYouNeedIsTea Thu 25-Sep-14 10:28:07

I agree with most of the posters on here that it sounds more likely to be dh's. An egg needs to be fertilized then implant and 7 days is quite quick for all that to happen. Plus the fact you getting symptoms of sort. Far too quick for it to be om's i think.

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