It'll be fine...eventually. Make sure your ds feels included. Talk to him about the baby starting now, look through books and things with him, take him to antenatal appts if it's convenient. When baby comes get him to 'help' you - passing things to you when you're changing, feeding and stuff. If he doesn't feel excluded, he'll be less likely to feel resentful.
First six months with 2 = hell, a logistical nightmare. After that it's fab.
I agree it's hard going at first. The trick is to NEVER sit down. Never look at a job and think 'I'll do it later' because there is no 'later'. There's always something to do. OMG that sounds grim but I don't mean it to.
Don't worry colditz. It'll all come flooding back.
You have to really try to let the toddler hold the baby (or let him think he;s holding the baby) and get him involved as much as poss.
There's bound to be a bit of jealousy but 2.5 is a lovely gap and he'll soon have a sibling who looks up to and adores him.
Luckily you'll be head over heels in love with the 'little screamy thing' (clever old mother nature eh?) and I find this really helps with the workload.
hiya colditz!! have same worry as you about how ds2 will take to baby. he's 2 and baby due anytime now. have talked to him
about baby as much as i can, and he touches my belly and says baby alot. He also kisses my belly.
ds1 was 5 when ds2 came along and although he understood uch better, he also felt and still feels left out alot as he had me to himself for so long. i hope he doesn't feel pushed out even more.
QueenOfQuotes -- i've found that ds2 is also very jealous of any time i give ds1!
Hi Colditz, there's a 4 year age gap between my 2 DS's, and luckily I haven't had any jealousy issues, but given the fact that DS2 is only 12 weeks old I'm sure that theres plenty time for something to arise! I basically have done what the others on here have mentioned and DS1 loves his little brother to bits
As for coping with a 'little screamy thing' (love the choice of words btw) everything will come flooding back - and there's nothing to say that it WILL be screamy - you may be lucky and have a baby who only cries when s/he wants something!
PS I totally agree with what spidermama says - there is never 'later'
colditz i can completely empathise.MYy ds will be 2 in oct and baby is due in dec...I am petrified about the whole thing, particualary as ds is going through a misbehaving stage at the minute...also reading that book 3 socks, 2shoes and no hairbrush at the min which all seems to be a bit doom and gloom but at sametime maybe laying down some foundations for how things may be..lol
You will remember it all the minuet the baby is born but be aware of one thing... take care when picking the baby up. You will be used to a big boy and it is very likely you will nearly throw the baby over the shoulder because it will be unexpectedly lighter than a 3 yo!
Yes, been having the same thoughts, baby 2 due in Dec and dd will be 3.5. I had actually thought about the difference in weight and remembering to be more careful with the newborn than an independent 3yr old
Awww - All I can say (in the same situation, so not actually had the experience yet ) is that it took about 6 months to get into the swing of being a mum of one. It was all learning.
This time, more learning - to be a mum of two. You will have some knowledge of newborn, but that will be countered out by the lack of knowledge of two kids. Don't expect anything to settle until AT LEAST 6 months.
As for sibling love/hate... I think 3 is an easier age to adjust than 5