Difficult start to BFing DS but fed for 15 months, now pregnant with no.2 will it be easier?

[cinnamongreyhound]

I posted this on the breast and bottle feeding pages and only got 2 responses so I thought I'd give it a try here to see if I can get anymore feedback.

I am 26 weeks pregnant with my second and am starting to feel anxious about how successful I will be at breastfeeding second time around.

I had a very hungry baby first time around and lots of milk but ended up with large cracks in my nipples, thrush and mastitis. I was told he was latching fine, but having done more reading since it seems that a lot of midwives have very limited training. I was determined to BF and was fine after he was 8 weeks old and carried on until he was 15 months.

I had inverted nipples first time around which I am sure didn't help but now they are most definately not inverted so I'm hoping with that and the fact I know what I'm doing I should have an easier time. The thing that is worrying me is that I am a childminder and am planning to only take 2 weeks maternity leave so I won't have as much time to establish feeding this time around and don't want to give up. I know I won't know until I get there but would be good to hear some positive stories about those who had difficulty first time and a much easier time with the second.

Also my breasts leaked every night from 20 weeks pregnant last time but this time at 26 weeks there is no sign of any leakage, is this a bad sign?

[susiey]

I really struggled to feed my first child but was nowhere near as determined as you and got to 4 months mixed feeding.
Second time round with my ds I knew what I was doing and that made feeding so much easier I had always intended 1 feed of formula a day and the rest breast and this is exactly what happened and I fed till 6 months when I decided to stop because I was back at work. Of course it still hurt for the first week or so but nowhere near as much.
As for the leaking during pregnancy I leaked loads with my first pregnancy and had a horrible time establishing feeding took me 6 weeks by which time it was 2 feeds only. Second pregnancy no leaking much easier time feeding so don't worry about that
hope it all works out for you this time

[hophophippidtyhop]

I had trouble establishing feeding with my dd and fed for a year.Can't remember the exact words she used, but a HV told me that when you have fed before it is easier the second time because your breasts have done it before and the ducts and 'pipelines'( can't thinks of a good way of putting it!) are lying in wait, so to speak, ready to go. Hope that makes sense!
I'm thinking that even if I struggle a bit this time, because I've done it before I will be more positive and determined about working through any issues, instead of crying at 3 in the morning, syringe of milk in hand, feeling like dd was more like an abandoned kitten than a baby!

[MumNWLondon]

I am sure it will be much easier this time. You'll be more confident. I found it much easier the 2nd and 3rd time.

How are you going to manage with only 2 weeks maternity leave? Who will be looking after your baby?

My DS2 is 5 weeks and is very windy baby, breastfeeding is going ok but I spend significant part of day feeding - this is fine as DD and DS1 are at school.

[Laugs]

I'm afraid to say I found it hard to start with with both my babies (DD, I fed until 19 months, is now 3.5; DS is 25 weeks, still BF). I'm not saying that to make you feel negative, but because I half expected it to be a breeze the second time round and then was really disappointed when it wasn't.

I think the good thing is that you got through that difficult start the first time and found all the benefits of BF that kept you feeding until 15 months. You are under no illusions about what BF will be like, and that is very helpful. You know you can do it and you do enjoy it - that really kept me going through the bad patch with DS (whereas with DD I didn't have a clue).

As you know, feeding a newborn baby is pretty much like a full-time 24/7 job though, so working as well will be very tiring. Can you not take any longer off?

[Laugs]

Sorry, also meant to say in my 2nd pregnancy I didn't have any leaking and my boobs hardly grew, so I wouldn't worry about that. And the fact your nipples are no longer inverted has got to be a good thing!

[DilysPrice]

Yes I'm sure it will be easier - you know what you're doing. I also had a nightmare first time round - had to express from one breast for a whole week to allow it to heal - second time round was not completely pain free but miles miles easier.
I pre-prepared nipples second time round with intermittent Lansonil massage- not sure whether it helped or not, but might be worth a try.
I share everyone's worry about the two weeks though.

[sheeplikessleep]

I found bf'ing DS1 very hard indeed. We managed 11 months in all, but I spent the first 4 months dreading every feed, crying in pain, with cracked nipples, blisters etc. It really hurt throughout each feed and in between feeds as well.

DS2 is 12 weeks old on Sunday and (touch wood!), he has fed like a dream - hasn't hurt me at all, he's putting on weight like a trooper and it feels like it felt to feed DS1 when DS1 was 5 months+ old.

I cannot believe how my experiences between the two have been so different.

Good luck

[cinnamongreyhound]

Thanks for all your responses!

I am a childminder so I will be looking after my baby just having other children at the same time. I could take more time off but then my parents would need to find alternative care and I may not get them back. I am working because I need to earn money to pay bills not to have luxuries so I can't afford to loose my customers.

I realise it will be hard work and to be honest I'm terrified of how I will cope. I don't want to look back at failing to breastfeed my second because I didn't have the time and regret it.

My son fed pretty much every 3 hours very quickly and had 1-2 feeds a night so wasn't feeding constantly, was down from 45mins-1hr to 15mins per feed by the time he was 8 weeks. He loved his milk and at 5 days old had already put on 4lbs! I think because it was painful I tried everything but feeding him when he cried so he never really fed for comfort just for hunger and even though I fed until 15 months he never asked for it again or seemed to remember what my breast were once used for!

[japhrimel]

I think the fact that you'll be more aware of having issues is good. Can you find out about the NCT help for breastfeeding (properly trained bfing counsellors plus a national helpline) before the baby arrives so you can get help asap if you need it.

[Laugs]

If you have a DP/H maybe it would work better if he took 2 weeks paternity leave after you start back at work, so you'll have him to help out for an extra couple of weeks?

Or ask your mum/ MIL to come and stay?

I don't know how much it might cost, but how about taking on a childminding assistant for a few weeks? That way the children will still be cared for and you won't lose clients. Or a doula to help with the baby?

You definitely need to get DH on side to help out as much as he can in the evenings etc so you can get some rest.

[MumNWLondon]

My DS1 also fed quickly right from the start - but DS2 now 6 weeks old and just like DD feeding still takes a long time.

Even though I am confident breastfeeder I could not look after other children properly just now - if it was mine (eg half term this week) I'd have to have them watching TV for significant amount of the day - which your clients might not like?