Paranoia, Pre-natal depression

[Ktchang]

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and throughout my pregnancy I have suffered really bad paranoia about everything and it seems to be getting worse, to an extend where I actually think I am going mad. I'm beginning to think that maybe I am suffering from pre-natal depression, especially as I have had a couple of "break down" moment over the past few months. The lastest one happened a couple of weeks ago after I had been to hospital for a routine ante-natal blood test. After the test I was so paranoid that the phlebotomist didnt use clean equipments (i.e clean needles) and I might have caught something. I was even convinced that she harmed me in some way without me knowing. Sounds crazy I know! I dont actually have any eveidence to back this up, its just something that I think might have happened and its been playing on my mind ever since. It could be something to do with my OCD about cleaniess but the thing is its not the first time I have had a blood test and I have been ok before but this time it just really freaked me out. Since then I have been worrying constantly that if I have caught something the baby might come to harm. The paranoia got so bad that I broke down last week and it totally freaked my husband out. He said my fears are so irrational that I should think about getting some counselling or maybe speak to my midwife about it.

I am thinking about getting some counselling but finds it really hard to talk about how I feel because when I try to explain, I sound crazy. I am really scared about my state of mind at the moment.

Has anyone been through/or is going the same thing?

[serengeti]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

It sounds very much like you have proper OCD, and you are having intrusive thoughts.

You should see you GP. PLease do.

Google OCD and intrusive thoughts - even recognising what it is might help

[babynumberthree]

Pregnancy makes us more vulnerable to all sorts of mental health problems including depression/anxiety/OCD and the sooner you talk to your GP to get some help/support the better. Start by explaining that you know it sounds 'crazy' but that your fears/anxieties are affecting you more than they should and that way you'll hopefully be able to say how worried you are. Good luck.

[del1]

It sounds like your hormones are takeng over!
I have been suffering paranoia, but more about other people not liking me.
I think my boyfriens doesn't want me anymore.
I think my friends don't like me, if they have to cancle a visit.
My sister was very quiet with me the other day, at my grandads funeral. I was totaly selfish, and thought she was in a mood with me. It took me untill next morning, to realise she was upset. I'm not normaly like this, but I feel the world is against me at the minute.
I was in the bank earlier today, and a couple started laughing, again I presumed they were laughing at me?
Hope it goes away after the baby is born?
had the baby blues for a few weeks last time, but not this bad!!
Feel like I am going mad, and feel so selfish after for thinking the world revoles around me!

[fiveisanawfullybignumber]

I don't have OCD, but can really empathise with what you're going through. I don't do well mentally during or after pregnancy. Ask your GP for help, or to refer you to the perinatal team, They've supported me through the last 2 pregnancies.
It's not that unusual what you're going through, freaks my DH a bit sometimes as well. Take care.

[Ktchang]

When I found out I was pregnant the paranoia mainly revolved around what I eat but now it's turned to thinking people wanting to harm me and the baby. As I said in my previous message I had a breakdown after my last blood test because I was convinced the person taking the blood was trying to harm me.
These are some of the crazy thoughts that have crossed my mind like:
-The person taking the test wasn't a real phlebotomist - it was all a fraud
-They didnt actually took my blood, they did something else.
-They didnt use clean needle and I might have caught something.

The stupid thing is I dont normally watch when they put the needle in my arm as it freaks me out and because of this, I now think they did something to me when I wasn't looking.

Just reading what I have written I sound like a mad case so I can't even begin to think about how I can talk to someone about it.

[misswisteria]

I really feel for you Ktchang ~ I'm so sorry you're going through this. The thing is, you are fully aware that these are irrational and intrusive thoughts. If you were very, very mentally ill, you really wouldn't realise that. It does sound like your OCD has been intensified by hormones and normal pregnancy fears and worries. Definitely get some support and maybe think about trying hypnotherapy and relaxation?

[Hermya321]

Ktchang I don't have OCD but I have had antenatal anxiety ever since I became pregnant. You are seriously not going mad, when we're stressed and vunerable our minds try and focus on something to try and distract us from the real issue. For example I'm obviously worried about pregnancy and having a baby, but the thought that keeps me awake is that'll I get in trouble at work because I filled in the form the wrong way. I went to my GP when my thoughts went a bit off kilter, they referred me to a counseller and I'm feeling lots better. Get yourself to your GP as soon as you can and get yourself referred. You will be ok, the fact that you are asking for help is the first step in any problem.

Now looking at the blood thing, why would anyone want to harm you or your baby? The person who took your blood didn't know you, doesn't have an interest in you or your baby beyond what they're doing as a job.

Have you got any breathing excercises, I know it sounds a bit tame but try breathing in to the count of 5 and then breath out to the count of 8. Count as you do it, the thing is you can't think about other things when you're trying to count in your head plus taking deep breaths will stop your panic response as well. You should find that your tension breaks as you do it.

I hope you feel better soon and that I've managed to help a little.

[Ktchang]

Thank you for all your advice, really appreciate. Quite comforting to be able to talk about it, even if it's just in writing. I will make an appointment to see my GP next week and see if I can get some help.
I have no idea why I am was so freaked out after the last blood test. I mean I have had quite a few blood tests over the past few months and I have been ok. I got so paranoid I even started reading about disease you can catch with dirty equipments and needles. That made me even more paranoid. At the moment I am trying to keep myself busy so I dont have time to think about things.

[thinker]

I have had pre natal anxiety in my last pregnancy and also in this one. Also I have started some OCD behavoir, mine is about checking moles for skin cancer, bloody stupid, I must check my moles about 70 times a day. I also check my 10 month old son for temperatures a bit too often and luckily can see its OCD kicking in. I complained this pregnancy cos last time i was 9 weeks post natal before I got to see a councellor, this time I was refered to a psychiatrist within 3 days of complaining - fantastic!! She is changing my medication and refering me to a councellor. I`m sure its related to hormones because it dies down 6-9 weeks after the birth.

[libelulle]

You aren't alone! Considering the stress put on PND, I'm amazed how little recognised pre-natal mental health issues actually are. I had severe anxiety with my first pregnancy (including OCD-like behaviour including not wanting to touch anything when out in public). It disappeared within hours of giving birth; when I'm not pregnant I'm fairly resilient in terms of mental health so I really do blame hormones.

This time around I'm much better, partly because I recognise the patterns, but still very fragile. I am going to see a midwife counsellor to help me cope- I think you should definitely push for this. Good luck - you shouldn't have to cope alone.

[numbertwo]

Hi Ktchang ~ just wanted to add another "you're not alone" to the thread and maybe bump it up a little. I am expecting no.2 and to be honest have been suffering similar symptoms from about 20 weeks. My anxieties have revolved around "catching" something that I might pass on to the baby and I guess the OCD-like behaviour has been around symptom spotting and spending too much time on the internet reading/researching.

Now, with only a few weeks' to go, things have started to get better although that is probably because I have to focus more on the birth and the reality that this is going to happen.

If it's any help I found my GP more sympathetic and more accessible than my midwife, he was able to arrange an extra reassurance scan and also offered counselling (which I declined - although with hindsight I think I would have benefited from it).

Good luck and hope you get the help you need.

[Ktchang]

Numbertwo, a lot of my anxieties have been and still are round catching something too. I also do a lot of reading on the internet too - My husband said that he is going to confiscate my lap top because it is not doing me any good. At the beginning of my pregnancy it was to do with food, especially meat - couldnt eat them if I didnt cook them myself. Recently I am paranoid about catching something from hospital when I go for my check ups. During my last blood test I was so paranoid that the nurse didnt use clean needles.

Not sure if to talk to my midwife or GP. My GP is not the best. Got an appt with midwife later this week but I'm worried she will just fob me and say it is normal to be worried esp. as it is my firs pregnancy.

[peacegarden]

I am at 38 weeks and also feeling very down just out of the blue. It's not any medical things getting to me, just everything else! I was so cross with my kids this morning when they woke up earlier than usual than usual, that I ended up bursting out crying and with them trying to cheer me up, which is obviously the wrong way around! My oldest child just got his reception place, in mediocre school but where he is already happily at nursery, and rather than being pleased I have become incredibly anxious, obsessing that he is in the wrong place and that as parents we have made the wrong decision for him and that this will have terrible knock on effect on his life, his siblings, us etc - irrational catastrophic thinking, I know, I know!!! . Also, very trivial and ridiculous,but,I bought some new things for the house and as soon as they were delivered I irrationally hated them and wanted them out of the house! It just seemed to tip me over the edge! This is my 3rd and I did have some similar experiences with my 1st, I have had depression in the past but not for a long time, I'm hoping this is just a pre-natal blip, but it is scary. I've never posted before but this thread struck a chord with me.

[numbertwo]

Ktchang ~ sorry to hear your GP isn't the best. I was lucky with mine and actually quite surprised at how seriously he took my worries. The midwife focused more on the source of my anxiety and just reassured me that the chances of getting anything were very very small (well, I sort of knew that but it didn't stop me worrying). Like I say, with hindsight, counselling might have helped to make this pregnancy a better experience.

[serengeti]

Is there another Gp in the practice you can see? You don't need to see the one you are registered with

[Ktchang]

Serengeti, I'm thinking of changing GP surgery. I have seen 5 different doctors and they are all useless. My husband wants me to talk to midwife when I see her on Friday. I want to but not sure how to approach the subject.