Miscarriage at 17 weeks, please point me in the right direction xxx

[MummyWilliams]

Hello.

Just found out this afternoon that at 17 weeks our baby has died. Had a mmc at 15 weeks previously. Don't know where to turn to. Scared about delivering this baby. Previous mmc at 15 weeks was an ERPC but this time I need to have induced labour. Any advice or previous experiences extremley welcome.

Many thanks for taking the time to read this.



xxx

[MummyWilliams]

Also reasons as to why miscarriage happened at such a late time xxx

[Elsa123]

Oh Mummywilliams- how horrendous, I'm not sure either as I had a mmc last time, but perhaps if you go onto the miscarriage thread, there might be some advice? How did you find out? Do you want to talk about it? So sorry I cannot be more help x x x x x My thoughts are with you and your family at this awful time x x

[Habbibu]

Oh, I am so sorry. In 2005 I had induced labour at 21 weeks - our wee girl had anencephaly. I was very scared and worried, but honestly (and I know this sounds strange) it was an oddly nice experience in the end. We cried a lot, and were really sad before and after, but having her, and holding her, and being able to see how beautiful she was, and being able to cuddle her and say goodbye to her was wonderful - can't type for tears now, mind.

I also am glad to have gone through labour and birth with her - makes me feel properly her mother, and links her to her sister and brother who were born after.

Practicalities: induction can be a bit sore, and it can take a while. Be prepared. Take books, sudoku, magazines, etc. And take a camera - we didn't, but the mw took pictures of dd1. In hindsight I'd have liked pictures of us holding her.

Your baby will be very tiny, and very skinny and red, because fat hasn't been laid under the skin yet.

Not sure what else to say just now, but please do ask any questions, and keep posting and talkiung here.

[hairymelons]

The miscarriage asscoiation may be able to help with some of your questions.

So sorry

[MummyWilliams]

Thank you for taking the time to reply, its a big help.

xxx

[EggsandBacon]

So sorry for your loss MummyWilliams

I just wanted to say thinking of you, I know there are lots of ladies on MN who helped me with my mc so hope you can find lots of support here, and in RL.

Will be thinking of you xxxx

[bigmuther65]

So sorry for your loss
I MC at nearly 16wks in feb also had to have a induced labour,did not find that part to bad the nurses etc were wonderful and explained every thing. We had the opportunity to see are little boy he looked perfect just very small.It is the emotional pain that hit me worse after make sure you take all the help you can,and i also find it comforting to talk about charlie[what we named him].So sorry again for your loss thinking of you xx

[BumpandEm]

I had a miscarriage last year, i was quite early on but because we had a positive test so early it felt like forever. My heart goes out to you, it really does. Remember that it is absolutely nothing that you have/haven't done. I know it's a horrible time and i hope you have lots of support as you travel through it. But you will come through this and hopefully the future will be much brighter.

Lots of hugs and best wishes to you.

[hairymelons]

MummyWilliams, just bumping for you.

Was wondering if you have a dedicated midwife/ nurse at the hospital you can speak to? I know that services vary from hospital to hospital but this should be available to you.

This must be a devastating time for you. Hope you are being looked after.

[EmmaBemma]

No useful help from me, but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

[cardamomginger]

I am so terribly sorry - thinking of you and sending you love and strength.
XXXX

[blinder]

So sorry for your loss MummyWilliams. get whatever support you can for your grief from the links posted above and on the miscarriage forum.

[Emz1980]

So So sorry for your loss, i can not even begin to think what you must be going through xxxxxx

[Sarahlou8]

Mummywilliams - I really feel for you. I lost my baby at 15 weeks last November. Reading the vast amount of experiences on the internet made me realise that it varies from person to person what they go through. I went into a short three hour labour after which my waters broke and immediately afterwards, I felt some pressure and I delivered the baby (still in it's sac) and placenta all in one go. I didn't have to push at all.
It came as a huge shock as I was unaware anything was wrong.
I found the miscarriage thread very comforting, and also the miscarriage association website.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope you have lots of support in RL x

[fearnelinen]

I echo what Habbibu said. I had to deliver my DD at 23 weeks and all I can say is it was the most peaceful serene night of my life. DH stayed with me the whole night and while he was a bit emotional and blubbery (not a criticism, just how he dealt with it) I was calm. It was so hard knowing I was saying goodbye to her, but I felt comforted knowing that I could move on and arrange funeral e.t.c.
A coupe of days later my milk came in...that was bloody hard. And about a week later all the sympathy messages / attention dried up. I won' lie and say I breezed through the experience and I did have a lot of councilling. But I survived and now live happy in the knowledge that she was in my life.
So very sorry for your loss.

[bluebump]

I'm really very sorry for your loss. I delivered my DS at 22 weeks. My labour was fairly short as you don't need to dialate fully as they will be fairly small. My labour was a bit of a shock as although i'd had a problematic pregnancy I wasn't expecting this to happen.

I was given a tablet to stop my milk coming in, I don't remember there being an option not to take it but maybe there was. It's a bit of a blur that day really.

I too found counselling helped me as my DP didn't want to talk about it much.

I am a CL on this message board which may be of use to you if you want to read any of the stories.