Work STRESS during pregnancy - help!

[Carry27]

Anyone else trying to hold on to a career and manage pregnancy? I'm 20 weeks and the company I work for is not supportive! Would love to hear from anyone trying to keep calm on the job....

[AliMouse]

I sympathise. I think there is alot of this about - companies superficially go through the motions with risk assessments etc but in my experience see it as a pain if a woman gets pregnant, especially if she hasn't left much of a gap between children.

And beware the colleague who mysteriously turns against you once you are pregnant! It's happended to me twice. Someone you thought was your friend actually angling to get your role. It happens.

I guess pregnancy brings out all kinds of primative reactions in people.

I'd say work to rule, keep immaculately professional and write anything down with dates and witnesses if you think they are bullying you.

Best of luck!

[jaffacakeaddict]

I would recommend that you are kind to yourself. I worked for a small company and was reluctant to take time off when I was pregnant, even when the GP asked me if I wanted a sick note because i was exhausted. I got quite stressed and I don't think it did my son or me any good at all. Looking back, I wish I'd taken up the GP's offer of the sick note.

[Summerhols]

I know how you feel, my manager is very supportive but at times I really get the feeling she is frustrated that I am finding certain things difficult and not my 'usual' self.

I work in a very stressful role, that can involve getting verbally abused by members of the public at times, usually I take this as part of the job but over the last couple of weeks (I am 29wks) I can just not cope with it.

Irronically I am off sick with a bad cold and feel guilty for taking time off as I would probably have gone in if not being pregers. But have decided that I need to rest for baby.

I agree with Allimouse - keep professional but don't let your health suffer for work.

[emspeth]

I had the same thing totally. Am 32 weeks now so just looking forward to my happy event - but at around 20 weeks I thought I couldn't go on. It was around Xmas and while everyone was enjoying boozy lunches I had deadlines up to the eyeballs. The attitude was 'she can't go out anyway so she can do it'. A*seholes.

Just remember that YOU and your baby are the most important thing. Office politics is what it is - if it wasn't you and your pregnancy it would be something else. In a few months' time you won't even be thinking about these stupid people anymore.

If you are worried about dirty tricks, do keep a record. But most importantly, make time to do stuff for yourself like book a massage in your lunch hour (I did acupucture and it helped me loads. I know it's expensive - my husband is out of work so we're not loaded - but for bringing me back to 'myself' it was really worth it). If that's not your thing then even 20 minutes outside if it's not raining will lift your mood. If you are physically up to strolling or other light excercise it is great 'me' time and will boost your emotional as well as physical strength. Make sure you are not taking the stress out on yourself by eating non-nutritious food, skipping meals or staying up late etc as that'll just heap more pressure on your body.

If you are not getting a lunch hour or aren't able to leave on time then they are properly out of order. Do whatever it takes, book lunchtime/after work as a recurring 'meeting' to show you're unavailable, or just tell people you 'have an appointment'. Take time in your day to call/text/email people who make you feel good - your partner, friends and family. It will remind you how much you are loved and valued and maybe lift your spirits with a few smiles or a good story along the way.

The most important thing is your own peace of mind and ability to keep toxic people at arms' length. Be kind to yourself as you really deserve it at this time. Mother yourself!

Keep posting and let us know how it goes.
x

[Taylor80]

I'm having the same issues, unsupportive organisation and going through the risk assessment motions etc.

I decided that the best thing to do is to take my mat leave early. You will still accrue annual leave during your maternity leave and the company I work for doesn't allow you to cash it in or carry it over so I have to take it before my mat leave.

I'm 20 weeks too so i'm finishing on the 2nd July, taking 14 days annual leave and then starting mat leave on 28th July.

Every time I start to feel stressed or down I remember that come April (which is just a few days away) i'll only have 3 months left and then I can lounge in my garden during the gorgeous weather we're going to have this summer (taking positive thinking too far??)

Anyway - chin up, get your mat leave booked and start counting down the days!!!

[thislittlesisterlola]

I've had similiar am 26 weeks now and like taylor am taking my mat leave early as annual leave. Pregnancy is nothing new where I am but one rule for one and another rule for another. I tend to find some ppl are just making my life more difficult. No advice to add really as above posts are very helpful. Its nice to know were not alone. Bring on mat leave i say

[SethStarkaddersMum]

I regret not taking more time off sick. I struggled on because I really didn't want to let colleagues down but ended up getting into trouble because I wasn't as productive as usual. You don't want them to instigate a disciplinary procedure the week before you go on maternity leave.
If you are ANYTHING less than 100% of your usual productivity get a doctor's note. You must protect yourself.

[inshi]

I just got myself confirmed in this new company , they knew that I got pregnant while in probation... Ive maxed out 14days medical leave and im reaching my 24 weeks soon.. I asked for work from home and they didn't alow me even after i told them im willing to have a pay cut. It's been dreading feeling to come to work, I'm almost going to depression as the thought of going to work freaks me.
The question now is, my edd is 1st july. I just cant wait for another 2.5 months to endure such dread. I need your honest opinion, Should I just take unpaid leave from 1st april - 1st May and 1st May -1st June ( HL) and continue with ML.

[CityMole]

Hi, this is quite an old thread you've bumped- you may get more responses if you start a new one!
You are asking for honest opinions, but we don't know the details of your circumstances. For most people it is a balancing act, making this decision.

On the one hand- earning money which will be helpful for during your mat leave/ the baby's first months. Keeping work 'on-side' and having less time away from the coal face will be beneficial in most careers, if you are going back to the same job. In a healthy pregnancy if you are fit and well, this will probably outweigh other considerations.

On the other hand- yours and the baby's health and wellbeing is paramount. If the latter is at any significant risk, then I think you'd have to be literally on the brink of poverty to be able to justify keeping working in such circumstances.

If however you feel like you can power through and address your health issues while still working, then you should do that. I'm afraid only you will know! Have you asked your GP for advice? Do you get sick pay?

[stephjane0401]

YES!!, i feel like my workplace isnt supportive either, wont even adapt to appropriate clothing for me to wear whilst my bump is still growing i feel your pain what happened to womans rights hey?

[fatfingeredfran]

Opposite experience here, I work for a large corporation, and they have been amazing. So good with time off, cutting hours, going home early if I feel unwell, allowing me to work from home, changing working hours to avoid rush hour commutes ... amazing really. I think it's down to very understanding managers rather than the company... I'm sure people in other teams in this company don't have the same experience. I'm fortunate that my managers are very family orientated with young children/babies themselves, so they seem to really understand.